Ｉ ｎｅｅｄ ｙｏｕｒ ａｄｖｉｃｅ！
Apr 23rd 2010 11:54
This is an exercise which is made for readers to improve their writing.
But I am struggling to seperate this into parts. How will you do if you are in my part? I need your advide!!
①Rewrite the following passages to make the average sentence length under 20 words:
Some time subsequent thereto defendant, Brian Dailey, picked up a lightly built wood-and-canvas lawn chair that was then and there located in the back yard of the above described premises, moved it sideways a few feet and seated himself therein, at which time he discovered that the plaintiff, Ruth Garratt, was about to sit down at the place where the lawn chair had formerly been, at which time he hurriedly got up from the chair and attempted to move it toward Ruth Garratt to aid her in sitting down in the chair, whereupon, due to the defendant's small size and lack of dexterity, he was unable to get the lawn chair under the plaintiff in time to prevent her from falling to the ground. [Average sentence length: 126 words]
The second exercise is more difficult thab the first. i can't understand whtat should I do…
②Rewrite the following paragraph from a loan agreement so that you highlight the parallel phrases. The parenthetical letters--except for "(A)"--have been deleted. Simply reinsert the missing parenthetical letters
"(B)" and "(C)" for the phrases that are parallel to the phrase introduced by "(A)." Study the passage first. Once you've decided where the letters should go, set off the listed items separately (see Section 34). You might want to edit the sentence, of course. But be careful not to change the meaning.
No Default or Violation of the Law. The execution and delivery of this Loan Agreement, or the bond indenture, and any other transaction documents by the Authority, will not result in a
breach of the terms of, or constitute a default under, (A) any indenture, mortgage, deed of trust, lease, or other instrument to which the Authority is a party or by which it or any of its property is bound or its bylaws or any of the constitutional or statutory rules or regulations applicable to the Authority or its property.
But I am struggling to seperate this into parts. How will you do if you are in my part? I need your advide!!
①Rewrite the following passages to make the average sentence length under 20 words:
Some time subsequent thereto defendant, Brian Dailey, picked up a lightly built wood-and-canvas lawn chair that was then and there located in the back yard of the above described premises, moved it sideways a few feet and seated himself therein, at which time he discovered that the plaintiff, Ruth Garratt, was about to sit down at the place where the lawn chair had formerly been, at which time he hurriedly got up from the chair and attempted to move it toward Ruth Garratt to aid her in sitting down in the chair, whereupon, due to the defendant's small size and lack of dexterity, he was unable to get the lawn chair under the plaintiff in time to prevent her from falling to the ground. [Average sentence length: 126 words]
The second exercise is more difficult thab the first. i can't understand whtat should I do…
②Rewrite the following paragraph from a loan agreement so that you highlight the parallel phrases. The parenthetical letters--except for "(A)"--have been deleted. Simply reinsert the missing parenthetical letters
"(B)" and "(C)" for the phrases that are parallel to the phrase introduced by "(A)." Study the passage first. Once you've decided where the letters should go, set off the listed items separately (see Section 34). You might want to edit the sentence, of course. But be careful not to change the meaning.
No Default or Violation of the Law. The execution and delivery of this Loan Agreement, or the bond indenture, and any other transaction documents by the Authority, will not result in a
breach of the terms of, or constitute a default under, (A) any indenture, mortgage, deed of trust, lease, or other instrument to which the Authority is a party or by which it or any of its property is bound or its bylaws or any of the constitutional or statutory rules or regulations applicable to the Authority or its property.
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For example, change "subsequent thereto defendant, Brian Dailey" to "the defendant, Brian Dailey"
Yes, taking out the words is no problem at all.
The most important thing is getting rid of useless words,
and seperate sentences to make them more simple so that reader can
understand it easily.
i heard somewhere that children in the U.S. have been taught writing skill
since they are elementary school students.
But I am not good at writing, still less in English.
So I need some help. Thanks!
Brian Dailey picked up a lawn chair in the backyard and moved it before sitting down. He saw that Ruth Garatt was about to sit where the chair had been. He attempted to move the chair so she could sit in it but was unable to get the chair under her in time.