The day I went to school

PUBLIC_FLAG_#{@journal.pf_int} RSS feed of Judy's latest journal entries Feb 19th 2010 16:19
Today I left home for school.I woke up early.Because I wanted to take the early bus.It took me more than four hours to arrive to the destination.It is boring when I was on the bus.I couldn't do anything.My mother prepared my delicious food for me.Once I told her I didn't like the food in school.I was very happy at home.However ,when I reached xuzhou ,it is my burden.It was too heavy to carry. I was tired.Now I stayed in the small hotel alone .It made me feel lonely.If there is a happy thing,I think it is that I can use the computer to write this entry.It is sunny outside.But my room is cold.I don't have air-conditioner even a heater.I drunk a lot of hot water to keep me warm. I attend a class that pratise my oral English.So I need to go to school in advance.The condition is bad.If I can improve my spoken English ,what I endured now is worthy.Oh ,come on!
Feb 19th 2010 16:52 Jordan

  • It is boring when I was on the bus.
  • It is was so boring when I was on the bus.

 

  • I couldn't do anything.
  • But I couldn't do anything.

 

  • My mother prepared my delicious food for me.
  • My mother prepared my a delicious food for me.

 

  • Once I told her I didn't like the food in school.
  • Once I told her once that I didn't like the food in school.

 

  • However ,when I reached xuzhou ,it is my burden.
  • However ,when I reached xuzhou ,it was like a burden to me is my burden.

 

  • I was tired.
  • I was so tired.

 

  • Now I stayed in the small hotel alone .
  • Now I stayed stay in the small hotel alone .

 

  • It made me feel lonely.
  • It made make me feel lonely.

 

  • If there is a happy thing,I think it is that I can use the computer to write this entry.
  • If there is a happy thing,I think it is that I can use the computer to write this entry. But still there's a happy thing for me, at least I can use the computer to write this entry

 

  • I don't have air-conditioner even a heater.
  • I don't have an air-conditioner or even a heater.

 

  • I drunk a lot of hot water to keep me warm.
  • I drunk drink a lot of hot water to keep me warm.

 

  • I attend a class that pratise my oral English.
  • I attend a class that pratise to practice my oral English.

 

  • If I can improve my spoken English ,what I endured now is worthy.
  • If I can improve my spoken English ,what I endured now is worthy. --> I don't understand what you want to write, but maybe its like this "what I sacrificed or felt now is worthy"

 
谢你刚的纠正,那我也纠正你的文章,呵呵, 加油阿
Feb 19th 2010 17:51 まあ

  • I woke up early.
  • I woke up early. because I wanted to take the early bus.

 

  • Because I wanted to take the early bus.
  • Because I wanted to take the early bus.

 

  • It took me more than four hours to arrive to the destination.
  • It took me more than four hours to arrive at the destination. (You can say "It took.......to get to the destination.)

 

  • It is boring when I was on the bus.
  • It was boring when I was on the bus.since I couldn't do anything.

 

  • I couldn't do anything.
  • I couldn't do anything.

 

  • However ,when I reached xuzhou ,it is my burden.
  • However ,when I reached xuzhou , I found it a burden.

 

  • It was too heavy to carry.
  • It was too heavy for me to carry.

 

  • It is sunny outside.
  • It is sunny outside. but my room is cold.

 

  • But my room is cold.
  • But my room is cold.

 

  • If I can improve my spoken English ,what I endured now is worthy.
  • If I can improve my spoken English , it seems worthwhile to put up with current situation.

 
How long will you stay there to study English?
Anyway, you're lucky to have such a nice opportunity.
Have fun!!

I would say that it's better to make sentences longer by connecting two short sentences.
However, it's just my suggestion. ^^
Mar 04th 2010 00:39 beanie.bop

  • My mother prepared my delicious food for me.
  • My mother prepared a delicious meal for me.

 

  • It made me feel lonely.
  • It makes me feel lonely.

 

  • If there is a happy thing,I think it is that I can use the computer to write this entry.
  • There's one good thing about this, at least I can use the computer to write this entry.

 
I agree with まあ, connecting the smaller sentences together is something you can start practicing. Despite that, you're still doing a great job.

I'm sorry you have to go through all of that for school, but it's worth it, right? I think it'll benefit you in the end :)
Judy
  • Mandarin
  • English, Japanese

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