My work2(speech) please correct this!

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I'll have a speech next weekend in this theme.please correct my composition.

I commanded trading ships and their crew menbers at the Japanese port.For example, I check inside the ships to prevent smuggling and so on.I'll talk about the most impressive incident of my work.

One day,we were patrolling around the port,getting in the car.A crew member was walking around.Then,we got out from the car and tried to do official questions.I approached to him and said,“Hello. Do you have anything to declare?”At first,he answered my question friendly,but suddenly he got angry as soon as I asked to search his body.“Why do you search me?”He said.“Well...I'm from customs so...” I couldn’t answer accurately however there were words I wanted to tell him.“Why?”He rolled up his T-shirt.

Then,my boss couldn’t bear to watch this situation and said,“Sorry,Mr.He is young officer,so he may hurt your feeling.You prove you have nothing by yourself,so you may go now.” I had only to lend the help of my boss.

After the incident,I thought and thought.I couldn't tell him why I want to search his body.I couldn’t speak English well,but I may not understand why customs officer command trading ships and their crew members.And I was afraid I persisted in one way,searching his body.He showed he didn’t have illegal goods,therefore I achieved the purpose of the inspection.From this incident,I learned I must not persist in one way.

A few days after,we were also patrolling that day.A crew member was walking around,so I got ouf from the car and said,“Hello. Do you have anything to declare to customs?” He said,“Why do you search me? I said,“I must make sure you don't bring prohibition goods into Japan,for example,guns,illegal drugs,pornographic DVD.May I show me you don’t have such goods.”

Mar 08th 2010 06:02 Ry-Guy

  • I'll have a speech next weekend in this theme.please correct my composition.
  • I'll have a speech next weekend in this theme.please correct my composition.

 

  • I commanded trading ships and their crew menbers at the Japanese port.For example, I check inside the ships to prevent smuggling and so on.I'll talk about the most impressive incident of my work.
  • I commanded trading ships and their crew menbers at the Japanese port.For example, I check the inside the of ships to prevent smuggling and so on.I'll talk Let me tell you about the most impressive incident of my work.

 

  • One day,we were patrolling around the port,getting in the car.A crew member was walking around.Then,we got out from the car and tried to do official questions.I approached to him and said,“Hello.
  • One day,we were patrolling around the port,getting in the car.A crew member was walking around.Then,we got out from the car and tried to do official questions.I approached to him and said,“Hello.

 

  • Do you have anything to declare?”At first,he answered my question friendly,but suddenly he got angry as soon as I asked to search his body.“Why do you search me?”He said.“Well...
  • Do you have anything to declare?”At first,he answered my question friendly (I don't think you it as an adverb) kindly,but suddenly he got angry as soon as I asked to search his body.“Why do you are you searching me?”He said.“Well...

 

  • I'm from customs so...” I couldn’t answer accurately however there were words I wanted to tell him.“Why?”He rolled up his T-shirt.
  • I'm from customs so...” I couldn’t answer accurately precisely, however there were some words I wanted to tell him.“Why?”He rolled up his T-shirt.

 

  • Then,my boss couldn’t bear to watch this situation and said,“Sorry,Mr.He is young officer,so he may hurt your feeling.You prove you have nothing by yourself,so you may go now.” I had only to lend the help of my boss.
  • Then,my boss couldn’t bear to watch this situation and said,“Sorry,Mr.sir. He is young a new officer,so he may hurt your feelings.You've proven you have nothing by yourself,so you may go now.” I had only to lend accept the help of my boss.

 

  • After the incident,I thought and thought.I couldn't tell him why I want to search his body.I couldn’t speak English well,but I may not understand why customs officer command trading ships and their crew members.And I was afraid I persisted in one way,searching his body.He showed he didn’t have illegal goods,therefore I achieved the purpose of the inspection.From this incident,I learned I must not persist in one way.
  • After the incident,I thought and thought.I couldn't tell him why I wanted to search his body.I couldn’t speak English well,but I may not have understood why customs officers command trading ships and their crew members.And I was afraid I persisted too hard in one way,searching his body.He showed he didn’t have illegal goods,therefore I achieved the purpose of the inspection.From this incident,I learned I must not persist in one such a way.

 

  • A few days after,we were also patrolling that day.A crew member was walking around,so I got ouf from the car and said,“Hello.
  • A few days after later,we were also patrolling that day again.A crew member was walking around,so I got out from the car and said,“Hello.

 

  • Do you have anything to declare to customs?” He said,“Why do you search me?
  • Do you have anything to declare to customs?” He said,“Why are you searching me?

 

  • I said,“I must make sure you don't bring prohibition goods into Japan,for example,guns,illegal drugs,pornographic DVD.May I show me you don’t have such goods.”
  • I said,“I must make sure you don't bring prohibition goods into Japan,for example,guns,illegal drugs,pornographic DVDsCan you show me you don’t have such goods?

 
What exactly do you mean by "commanded"? It's still a little unclear to me even after reading the whole entry.

Also, I didn't understand this part: “Why?”He rolled up his T-shirt

Anyway, sounds like an interesting job. I can understand why people would act unfriendly to you, but you have to be professional.
Mar 08th 2010 07:11 kathrynoh

  • I commanded trading ships and their crew menbers at the Japanese port.For example, I check inside the ships to prevent smuggling and so on.I'll talk about the most impressive incident of my work.
  • I commanded trading ships and their crew members at a Japanese port.For example, I check inside the ships to prevent smuggling and so on.I'll talk about the most impressive incident of my work.

 

  • One day,we were patrolling around the port,getting in the car.A crew member was walking around.Then,we got out from the car and tried to do official questions.I approached to him and said,“Hello.
  • One day,we were patrolling around the port, getting in the car.A crew member was walking around.Then,we got out from the car and tried toask some official questions.I approached to him and said,“Hello.

 

  • Do you have anything to declare?”At first,he answered my question friendly,but suddenly he got angry as soon as I asked to search his body.“Why do you search me?”He said.“Well...
  • Do you have anything to declare?” At first,he answered my question in a friendly manner, but he got angry when I asked to search his body.“Why do you search me?” he said.“Well..."

 

  • I'm from customs so...” I couldn’t answer accurately however there were words I wanted to tell him.“Why?”He rolled up his T-shirt.
  • "I'm from customs so...” I couldn’t answer accurately however there were words I wanted to tell him.“Why?” He rolled up his T-shirt.

 

  • Then,my boss couldn’t bear to watch this situation and said,“Sorry,Mr.He is young officer,so he may hurt your feeling.You prove you have nothing by yourself,so you may go now.” I had only to lend the help of my boss.
  • Then, my boss couldn’t bear to watch this situation and said,“Sorry, Mr.He is a young officer,so he may hurt your feelings.You prove you have nothing on yourself,so you may go now.” I had only to borrow the help of my boss.

 

  • After the incident,I thought and thought.I couldn't tell him why I want to search his body.I couldn’t speak English well,but I may not understand why customs officer command trading ships and their crew members.And I was afraid I persisted in one way,searching his body.He showed he didn’t have illegal goods,therefore I achieved the purpose of the inspection.From this incident,I learned I must not persist in one way.
  • After the incident,I thought and thought.I couldn't tell him why I want to search his body.I couldn’t speak English well, but I may not understand why customs officers command trading ships and their crew members.And I was afraid I persisted in one way, searching his body.He showed he didn’t have illegal goods, therefore I achieved the purpose of the inspection.From this incident,I learned I must not persist in one way

 

  • A few days after,we were also patrolling that day.A crew member was walking around,so I got ouf from the car and said,“Hello.
  • A few days later, we were also patrolling again.A crew member was walking around,so I got out of the car and said, “Hello."

 

  • Do you have anything to declare to customs?” He said,“Why do you search me?
  • Do you have anything to declare to customs?” He said,“Why do you search me?"

 

  • I said,“I must make sure you don't bring prohibition goods into Japan,for example,guns,illegal drugs,pornographic DVD.May I show me you don’t have such goods.”
  • I said,“I must make sure you don't bring prohibition goods into Japan, for example, guns, illegal drugs, pornographic DVD.Can you show me you don’t have such goods.”

 
Mar 08th 2010 23:09 take

>Ry-Guy

The word "commanded" means "control", "manage”,"regulate",and so on.

ex.
Keep motorcycle gangs under strict control .

“Why?”He rolled up his T-shirt means :
He showed he had no illegal goods by rolling up his shirt.
Mar 08th 2010 23:10 take

>kathrynoh

Thank you for corrtcting my composition.
take
  • Japanese
  • English, Mandarin

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