In the beauty salon

PUBLIC_FLAG_#{@journal.pf_int} RSS feed of take's latest journal entries Apr 23rd 2010 00:41
I went to the beauty salon after I finished working. I was very tired and sleepy then.
When a beautician cut my hair,I had a nap carelessly. I was afraid he cut my hair as I didn't hope. Because I heard the incident one person had cut his hair while having a nap.
But I didn't need worrying. The beautician cut my hair as I hoped. I had a relief.

Apr 23rd 2010 17:28 kathrynoh

  • When a beautician cut my hair,I had a nap carelessly.
  • While the hairdresser cut my hair,I carelessly had a nap.

 

  • I was afraid he cut my hair as I didn't hope.
  • I was afraid he didn't cut my hair as I hoped.

 

  • But I didn't need worrying.
  • But I didn't need worry.

 
I would say "hairdresser" not "beautician". I am glad you got a good haircut.
Apr 24th 2010 19:32 krizia

  • I went to the beauty salon after I finished working.
  • I went to the beauty salon after I had finished working. (there were two actions perfected in the past in your sentence(past perfect tense) and you used *after* so it means it happened first.)

 

  • I was afraid he cut my hair as I didn't hope.
  • I was afraid that he didn't cut my hair as I hoped (expected).

 

  • Because I heard the incident one person had cut his hair while having a nap.
  • It isbecause I heardtheanincidentwhenaoneperson hadhis haircut, but it didn't turned out the way he wanted it to bebecause he is taking a napcut his hair while having a nap.( Did i get it right?)

 

  • But I didn't need worrying.
  • But I didn't need to worrying.

 
Please read of my improvements......

Good luck...^^
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