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The monkey's paw

PUBLIC_FLAG_#{@journal.pf_int} RSS feed of LeeNJ's latest journal entries Dec 31st 2009 20:24
Mr White has a wife and a son. On a cold night, his old friend, Tom Morris, dropped in. Tom came from India. He told the White’s many strange stories and brought a monkey’s paw. He said, “It can give you three wishes.” The White’s were absorbed in the monkey’s paw. They lived in a rough house and needed money.
The White’s bought the monkey’s paw, although Tom warned them that it brought unhappiness with it. Mr White made the first wish for three thousand pounds. But nothing happened, the White’s were disappointed.
The day after, when Mr and Mrs White were eating, a man from the factory where their son worked in came. The man told them, their son had been dead and he would give them three thousand pounds for help.
Mrs White was very sad, and she wanted make a wish to let her son come back. Mr White did that. Later, they heared some noise. They thought that was their son. Mrs White ran downstairs. Mr White were afraid and wanted to stop his wife, because their son died in the machinery. But Mrs White did not listen him, she was going to open the door for her son. At the same time Mr White took the monkey’s paw in his right hand and he made his third wish.
In the end, the door was opened, but there was nothing outside.
Jan 03rd 2010 03:47 Dimto

  • The monkey's paw
  • The monkey's hand.

 

  • Mr White has a wife and a son.
  • Mr White had a wife and son.

 

  • On a cold night, his old friend, Tom Morris, dropped in.
  • On a cold night, his old friend , Tom Morris , dropped in.

 

  • He told the White’s many strange stories and brought a monkey’s paw.
  • He told the White’s many strange stories and had brought a monkey’s hand with him.

 

  • He said, “It can give you three wishes.” The White’s were absorbed in the monkey’s paw.
  • He said, “It can grant you three wishes.” The White’s were fascinated in the by it.

 

  • The White’s bought the monkey’s paw, although Tom warned them that it brought unhappiness with it.
  • The White’s bought the monkey’s hand, though Tom did warned them that it brought unhappiness with it.

 

  • But nothing happened, the White’s were disappointed.
  • But nothing happened and the White’s were disappointed.

 

  • The day after, when Mr and Mrs White were eating, a man from the factory where their son worked in came.
  • The day after, Mr and Mrs White were eating when a man from the factory where their son worked, came by.

 

  • The man told them, their son had been dead and he would give them three thousand pounds for help.
  • The man told them their son had been died and that he would give them three thousand pounds to compensate.

 

  • Mrs White was very sad, and she wanted make a wish to let her son come back.
  • Mrs White was very sad, and she wanted to make a wish her son back to life.

 

  • Later, they heared some noise.
  • Later, they heared some noises.(OR, Later, they heard a noise)

 

  • They thought that was their son.
  • They thought that it was their son.

 

  • Mr White were afraid and wanted to stop his wife, because their son died in the machinery.
  • Mr White was afraid and wanted to stop his wife, because their son died in a machinery accident.

 

  • But Mrs White did not listen him, she was going to open the door for her son.
  • But Mrs White did not listen to him, she was going to open the door for her son no matter what.

 

  • At the same time Mr White took the monkey’s paw in his right hand and he made his third wish.
  • At the very same instance Mr White took the monkey’s paw in his right hand and made his third wish.

 

  • In the end, the door was opened, but there was nothing outside.
  • Mrs. White opened the door, but there was nothing/nobody outside.

 
Thats a really good short story.
Hope the corrections help. Keep up the great work!

Jan 03rd 2010 16:44 LeeNJ

Dimto, thank you very much for taking the time to correct my mistakes.
Happy New Year to you!
Jan 06th 2010 05:19 Dimto

Your very Welcome,
It was my pleasure.
Hope you have a Happy New Year too!

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