Hi~This is my first English diary

PUBLIC_FLAG_#{@journal.pf_int} RSS feed of Victor's latest journal entries Sep 06th 2010 04:16 Hi~this is my first English diary as u see I'm very nervous as a English beginner!
Hi~
this is my first English diary,as you see I'm very nervous as a beginner!There must be a lot of mistakes in this article.Thanks for helping me to improve my English,I'd like to help others to improving their language ,although I'm only good in Chinese Mandarin,but thanks anyway!
So,let me intorduce myself first so that you can know me well.My name is Victor,I'm a hotel front desk agent.I've been very tired recently,so I got a long sleep today,my mom woke me up at 9:30 in the evening.
That's right,9:30 in the evening.
Let my clarify,I work at hotel but I have to go on night shift,it's not my original intention but everything changed from September,it's a long story,we can talk about that next time.
When I awoke I was shocked:"It's already 9:30!?"
I had a quick shower and left home as soon as I can.
When I on the half way to my company,there was 10 minutes distance left,suddenly,on the middle of a big intersection,my motorcycle was stoped moving!Fortunately it was not on rush hour,but there were still many cars around and passed through.So I parked my motorcycle aside the road,then what?How could I get to my company?It takes 10 minutes by taxi,or at least 20 to 30minutes by walk,by the way there was only 15minutes left,so if I went there by walk I'll definitely late,but I dont want spend the money to take the taxi,so I decided:"RUN!" I ran like there's no tomorrow.Finally I arriveled,I was puff and pant like I got asthma break out and all sweated.Luckily I got there on time!

Above-mentioned is today my diary.Thanks for reading~!
Sep 06th 2010 04:36 Gian

  • Thanks for helping me to improve my English,I'd like to help others to improving their language ,although I'm only good in Chinese Mandarin,but thanks anyway!
  • Thanks for helping me to improve my English,I'd like to help others to improving their language ,although I'm only good in Chinese Mandarin,but thanks anyway!

 

  • I've been very tired recently,so I got a long sleep today,my mom woke me up at 9:30 in the evening.
  • I've been very tired recently,so I had a long sleep today, until my mom woke me up at 9:30 in the evening.

 

  • Let my clarify,I work at hotel but I have to go on night shift,it's not my original intention but everything changed from September,it's a long story,we can talk about that next time.
  • Let my clarify,I work in a hotel but I have to go on night shift,it's not my original intention but everything changed since September,it's a long story,we can talk about that next time.

 

  • When I on the half way to my company,there was 10 minutes distance left,suddenly,on the middle of a big intersection,my motorcycle was stoped moving!Fortunately it was not on rush hour,but there were still many cars around and passed through.
  • When I was half way to my company,there was just 10 minutes distance left,suddenly,in the middle of a big intersection,my motorcycle was stopped moving!Fortunately it was not a rush hour,but there were still many cars around that passed by.

 

  • So I parked my motorcycle aside the road,then what?How could I get to my company?It takes 10 minutes by taxi,or at least 20 to 30minutes by walk,by the way there was only 15minutes left,so if I went there by walk I'll definitely late,but I dont want spend the money to take the taxi,so I decided:"RUN!" I ran like there's no tomorrow.
  • So I parked my motorcycle beside the road,then what?How could I get to my company?It takes 10 minutes by taxi,or at least 20 to 30minutes by walking,by the way there was only 15minutes left,so if I went there by walking I'll definitely be late,but I didn't want to spend the money to take the taxi,so I decided:"RUN!" I ran like there's no tomorrow.

 

  • Finally I arriveled,I was puff and pant like I got asthma break out and all sweated.
  • Finally I arrived,I was puffing and panting like I got an asthma break out and was all sweated.

 
Sounds like an adventure story to me, hehehe


Keep it up!
Sep 06th 2010 04:41 GaoJian

  • this is my first English diary,as you see I'm very nervous as a beginner!There must be a lot of mistakes in this article.
  • This is my first English diary, as you can see I'm a very nervous as a beginner!There must be a lot of mistakes in this article.

 

  • Thanks for helping me to improve my English,I'd like to help others to improving their language ,although I'm only good in Chinese Mandarin,but thanks anyway!
  • Thanks for helping me to improve my English. I'd like to help others to improve their language, although I'm only good at Chinese Mandarin. but thanks anyway!

 

  • So,let me intorduce myself first so that you can know me well.
  • First, let me introduce myself so that you can know me well. you can get to know me.

 

  • My name is Victor,I'm a hotel front desk agent.
  • My name is Victor, I'm a hotel front desk agent at a hotel.

 

  • I've been very tired recently,so I got a long sleep today,my mom woke me up at 9:30 in the evening.
  • I've been very tired recently, so I got a long sleep slept a lot today. My mom woke me up at 9:30 in the evening.

 

  • Let my clarify,I work at hotel but I have to go on night shift,it's not my original intention but everything changed from September,it's a long story,we can talk about that next time.
  • Let my clarify, I work at hotel but I work the night shift. It's not my original intention It's not ideal, but everything changed from in September. It's a long story, perhaps we can talk about it next time.

 

  • I had a quick shower and left home as soon as I can.
  • I had a quick shower and left home as soon as I can. I could.

 

  • When I on the half way to my company,there was 10 minutes distance left,suddenly,on the middle of a big intersection,my motorcycle was stoped moving!Fortunately it was not on rush hour,but there were still many cars around and passed through.
  • When I on the half way to my company work, I still had 10 minutes distance to go. Suddenly, on In the middle of a big intersection, my motorcycle was stopped moving! Fortunately it was not on rush hour, but there were still many cars around and passed passing through.

 

  • So I parked my motorcycle aside the road,then what?How could I get to my company?It takes 10 minutes by taxi,or at least 20 to 30minutes by walk,by the way there was only 15minutes left,so if I went there by walk I'll definitely late,but I dont want spend the money to take the taxi,so I decided:"RUN!" I ran like there's no tomorrow.
  • So I parked my motorcycle aside on the side of the road. then what? I thought to myself, how can I get to my company? It takes will take 10 minutes by taxi, or at least 20 to 30minutes by to walk. by the way there was only 15minutes left At that time I only had 15 minutes left. ,so If I went there by walked I'd definitely be late,but I didn't want spend the money to take the a taxi,so I decided to run! I ran like there's no tomorrow.

 

  • Finally I arriveled,I was puff and pant like I got asthma break out and all sweated.
  • Finally, I arrived. I was puffing and panting like I had an asthma attack.

 

  • Above-mentioned is today my diary.
  • The above-mentioned is today's my diary.

 
Victor,
What a great entry. I really enjoyed your story. I'm glad you made it to work on time. I made a few changes as you can see. Some of your sentences sounded a little strange so I used the "cross-out" tool and added words that made it sound more 地道。 Other times I made some changes with the "blue" highlight so you can see the changes in tense or verb usage. Keep on writing.

我希望有一天,你也可以改我的中文啊!

高健

如果你有问题,请告诉我。 (Please let me know if you have any questions).
Victor
  • Traditional Chinese
  • English, Japanese

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