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on the first day in Las Vegas

PUBLIC_FLAG_#{@journal.pf_int} RSS feed of mami's latest journal entries Nov 19th 2008 00:31
On Halloween night, it was extremer exiting day. After my ESL Halloween party, Tomoki and I went to golf course and BBQ with his co-workers. And then, we went to Las Vegas. One of my friends called to me a crazy traveler. I think that it is true. When I arrived at Las Vegas, I was very tired, but I went to the main street to see people who wear costumes.
We stayed at the Mirage, and it was pretty good hotel. Actually, it was a good deal, because the famous artificial volcano which the Mirage has was now under constricting. I don’t care about the volcano.
Nov 19th 2008 08:08 chr

  • On Halloween night, it was extremer exiting day.
  • On Halloween night, it was a extremely exciting day.

 

  • After my ESL Halloween party, Tomoki and I went to golf course and BBQ with his co-workers.
  • After my ESL Halloween party, Tomoki and I went to a golf course and BBQ with his co-workers.

 

  • One of my friends called to me a crazy traveler.
  • One of my friends called to me a "crazy traveler."

 

  • We stayed at the Mirage, and it was pretty good hotel.
  • We stayed at the Mirage, and it was a pretty good hotel.

 

  • Actually, it was a good deal, because the famous artificial volcano which the Mirage has was now under constricting.
  • Actually, it was a good deal, because the famous artificial volcano which the Mirage has is now under construction.

 
You did a good job with commas (probably better than many English speakers themselves).

The article "a" is used when the first letter of the word following it begins with a consonant and "an" is used when the next word begins with a vowel (and some words that begin with "h").

For the "Actually, it was a good deal, because the famous artificial volcano which the Mirage has is now under construction," be sure to use "now" with a present tense verb except in the rare cases when you are telling a story with the historical present tense.

Good entry.
Dec 03rd 2008 04:23 mami

Thank you so much correcting my diary!
mami
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