He accepted my offer and corrected mine. When I read his correct journal,I was very surprised at and I was very shocked at once.
Because he never uses difficult words or hard description and each sentences which was corrected by him has same meaning but it looked quite different from mine.I didn't have any idea like him.
Therefore, I was very shocked. Mine sounded very childish and poor English.
While he was correcting my entry, he explained why it was not good or why I should use it or why it is better.
It was very helpful for me.I could understand what he meant and learned that mine is working but it is far from native speakers.
I really want to be able to describe like native speakers.
He advised me that if I want to be able to witter like them, I should read their articles more and more and keep going to write.
I totally agree with him. Therefore I continue to write today also!