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I asked to my English teacher about one of my journals today.I wanted him to correct my journal after he read it.
He accepted my offer and corrected mine. When I read his correct journal,I was very surprised at and I was very shocked at once.
Because he never uses difficult words or hard description and each sentences which was corrected by him has same meaning but it looked quite different from mine.I didn't have any idea like him.
Therefore, I was very shocked. Mine sounded very childish and poor English.
While he was correcting my entry, he explained why it was not good or why I should use it or why it is better.
It was very helpful for me.I could understand what he meant and learned that mine is working but it is far from native speakers.
I really want to be able to describe like native speakers.
He advised me that if I want to be able to witter like them, I should read their articles more and more and keep going to write.
I totally agree with him. Therefore I continue to write today also!
He accepted my offer and corrected mine. When I read his correct journal,I was very surprised at and I was very shocked at once.
Because he never uses difficult words or hard description and each sentences which was corrected by him has same meaning but it looked quite different from mine.I didn't have any idea like him.
Therefore, I was very shocked. Mine sounded very childish and poor English.
While he was correcting my entry, he explained why it was not good or why I should use it or why it is better.
It was very helpful for me.I could understand what he meant and learned that mine is working but it is far from native speakers.
I really want to be able to describe like native speakers.
He advised me that if I want to be able to witter like them, I should read their articles more and more and keep going to write.
I totally agree with him. Therefore I continue to write today also!
He accepted my offer and corrected mine it.
When I read his correct journal corrections,I was very surprised at and I was very shocked all at once.
Because he never uses difficult words or hard descriptions and each sentences which was corrected by him he corrected has the same meaning as mine,but it looked quite different from mine.
I didn't have any idea like him. Were you trying to say "I didn't have any ideas like his" ??
MineMy English sounded very childish and poor English.
He advised me that if I want to be able to witter <-?? like them, I should read their articles more and more and keep going to write writing.
I asked to my English teacher about one of my journals today.
I wanted him to read and correct my journal.*
When I read his corrections, I was very surprised at and I was very shocked all at once
because he didn't use difficult words or hard descriptions (structures?), and each sentences he corrected had the same meaning but it looked so different from mine.
While he was correcting my entry, he explained why it was not good or why I should use something else or why one expression is better than another. *?
I could understand what he meant and learned that my version is working but it is far from native speakers.
I really want to be able to write like a native speaker.*
That's why I'll write today, too! *
The ones marked with an asterisk (*) were correct but I just wanted to show you how I would have said them.
About the "While he was correcting - - " sentence: the subject stayed the same as you continued writing, so it became "While he was correcting my entry, he explained why my entry was not good or why I should use my entry or why my entry is better."
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Yes, that will be useful! I used to read fanfics (fiction stories based on someone else's novel/movie/whatever) in FanFiction.net when I was in junior high, and I even translated one of them in Finnish. In the beginning, it was sometimes hard to get the point, but gradually it became easier. I learned a lot from them, even some phrases like "to be as good as dead".
I've been busy these days, but I'll manage to read them whenever I can. :)
And thanks again for making a comment in my entry. I will keep going.
And thanks again for explaing about grammer.
I took same mistakes again!
Funfics sounds very interesting for me. I will seach it later. Thank you for sharing it.
！
He accepted my fevor and corrected the mistakes in my entry. When I read corrected journal,I was very surprised at and I was very shocked at the same time.
Because he never uses difficult words or hard description,each sentences he corrected has same meaning as mine,althoug it dosn't sound like how I originally wrote it.I didn't have any idea like him.
Therefore, I was very shocked, I thought my English sounded very childish and poor .
While correcting my entry, he explained why and why not my choice of words are good.
It was very helpful for me.I could understand what he meant and learned that my English was working,although it sounds different from way the native speakers talk.
I really want to be able to describe like native speakers.
He said that if I want to be able to write like him, I should read more articles and do more writing.
I totally agree with him. Therefore, I will continue to write starting today !