Volunteer Activities
Oct 07th 2011 23:28
correction-please
These sentences are about what volunteer activity I'd like to join.
Would you mind correcting them?
I'd appreciate your support!
----------------------------------------
I want to be engaged in picking up litter on the streets or on the seashores.
I think I'll make some contribution to environmental problems, and it is important that I should not leave the problems to other people and take actions myself.
I believe doing this can make others think and behave the same way.
I'm thinking of starting by dealing with familiar problems, so I've chosen that engagement.
Would you mind correcting them?
I'd appreciate your support!
----------------------------------------
I want to be engaged in picking up litter on the streets or on the seashores.
I think I'll make some contribution to environmental problems, and it is important that I should not leave the problems to other people and take actions myself.
I believe doing this can make others think and behave the same way.
I'm thinking of starting by dealing with familiar problems, so I've chosen that engagement.
- 3
- 1
- 2
Journals Statistics
| Total | 495 entries |
|---|---|
| This Month | 0 entries |
| This week | 0 enrties |
Latest entry
| A World Discovered By Wearing Glasses (5) |
| Before I Arrived ... (6) |
| The First Time (4) |
| After a Long Time (2) |
| To Start / To Start On (5) |
Latest comments
| Apr 26th tony |
| Apr 25th :-) |
| Apr 17th tony |
| Apr 16th tony |
| Apr 16th tony |
Entries by Month
| 2012 |
|---|
| - April (6) |
| - March (7) |
| - February (24) |
| - January (32) |
| 2011 |
| - December (20) |
| - November (23) |
| - October (20) |
| - September (18) |
| - August (10) |
| - July (26) |
| - June (20) |
| - May (7) |
| - April (5) |
| - March (14) |
| - February (4) |
| - January (10) |
| 2010 |
| - December (5) |
| - November (11) |
| - October (5) |
| - September (6) |
| - August (2) |
| - July (6) |
| - June (6) |
| - April (9) |
| - March (3) |
| - February (4) |
| - January (22) |
| 2009 |
| - December (13) |
| - November (16) |
| - October (31) |
| - September (26) |
| - August (13) |
| - July (18) |
| - June (9) |
| - May (28) |
| - April (16) |
I want to be engaged in picking up litter on the streets or on the seashores.(I'd like to can often sound better, less abrupt, than I want to)
I think I'll make some contribution to solutions to environmental problems, and it is important that I should not leave the problems to other people and that I take actions myself. (You don't really want to contribute to the problem! ;)
I believe doing this can make others think and behave the same way.(this is correct but I think "I believe by doing this I can make others think and behave the same way." would be stronger.)
I'm thinking of starting by dealing with familiar problems, so I've chosen that engagement. (? I'm sorry but I don't understand what you want to say here. so I've chosen that activity. ?)
Volunteer Activity [You only talk about one activity in this entry, so the singular form makes more sense.]
These sentences are about a volunteer activity I'd like to join. ["What" would be natural if you were deciding between several possibilities. In what follows, you only talk about one.]
I want to help pick up litter on the streets or at beaches. ["... be engaged in..." sounds very formal.]
I'd like to make some contribution to solving environmental problems, and it's important not to leave the problems to other people and take actions myself.
I believe doing this may cause others to think and behave the same way. ["... make others think and behave..." sounds like forcing them against their will. Alternative: I believe doing this may encourage others to do the same.]
I think it makes sense to start by dealing with familiar/everyday problems, so that's the activity I've chosen. ["Everyday" = 日常]
Yeah I hope they would! =)