The Human Race's Privilege
Nov 10th 2011 19:24
correction-please
Would you mind correcting these sentences?
I'd appreciate your support!
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Children are full of curiosity.
However, I hear most animals are less curious when they've grown up than they were in their youth.
On the other hand, human beings can hold their interest in various things when they become adults.
Come to think of that, human beings may be a happy species that enjoys the privilege of being a child forever.
I'd appreciate your support!
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Children are full of curiosity.
However, I hear most animals are less curious when they've grown up than they were in their youth.
On the other hand, human beings can hold their interest in various things when they become adults.
Come to think of that, human beings may be a happy species that enjoys the privilege of being a child forever.
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However, I hear most animals are/become/get less curious when they've grown up than they were in their youth. ["Youth" is a word which is usually only used for humans. Alternative: "... most animals become less curious when they are full grown than when they were young."]
Come to think of it, human beings may be a happy species that enjoys the privilege of being children forever. [Alternative: "Come to think of it, human beings may be the only creatures who get to retain some childlike qualities throughout their lives." "Get to" is informal; it could be replaced by "are fortunate enough to."]
This sentence is understandable, but the word "children" is usually used only for young humans in English-- one does not usually use it for puppies or kittens or other young animals. Also, "a happy species that enjoys the privilege of" is perfectly correct, but sounds bookish and a bit old-fashioned. It is different in tone from the introductory phrase "Come to think of it, ..."
"Come to think of it" is a set phrase; that's why "that" sounds a bit awkward in it.
Your sentences are fine; my suggested changes are entirely optional.
I myself felt somewhat awkward about the last sentence, but your pointing out has made it clear.
Thank you very much!
By the way, didn't you feel strange about the difference of the tenses between "they've grown up" in the second sentence and "they become adults" in the third?
On the other hand, human beings can hold onto their interest in various things when they become adults. (The verb "hold" by itself usually implies having something in your hands, or believing in a particular viewpoint. If you mean "keep" or "retain", you usually should use the phrase "hold onto" instead of just "hold". This isn't an absolute rule, and native speakers will sometimes deviate from it, but following this guideline will help you avoid awkward sentences in many cases.)
Come to think of that, human beings may be a particularly happy species in that they can that enjoy the privilege of remaining a child forever.