The Human Race's Privilege

PUBLIC_FLAG_#{@journal.pf_int} RSS feed of M-K-G's latest journal entries Nov 10th 2011 19:24 correction-please
Would you mind correcting these sentences?
I'd appreciate your support!

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Children are full of curiosity.

However, I hear most animals are less curious when they've grown up than they were in their youth.

On the other hand, human beings can hold their interest in various things when they become adults.

Come to think of that, human beings may be a happy species that enjoys the privilege of being a child forever.
Nov 11th 2011 06:22 tony

  • However, I hear most animals are less curious when they've grown up than they were in their youth.
  • However, I hear most animals are/become/get less curious when they've grown up than they were in their youth. ["Youth" is a word which is usually only used for humans. Alternative: "... most animals become less curious when they are full grown than when they were young."]

 

  • Come to think of that, human beings may be a happy species that enjoys the privilege of being a child forever.
  • Come to think of it, human beings may be a happy species that enjoys the privilege of being children forever. [Alternative: "Come to think of it, human beings may be the only creatures who get to retain some childlike qualities throughout their lives." "Get to" is informal; it could be replaced by "are fortunate enough to."]

 
Although "a species" is singular, it is still the individuals in that species which remain in a child-like state, so "child" should be changed to the plural "children." (The species as a whole does not remain a child.)

This sentence is understandable, but the word "children" is usually used only for young humans in English-- one does not usually use it for puppies or kittens or other young animals. Also, "a happy species that enjoys the privilege of" is perfectly correct, but sounds bookish and a bit old-fashioned. It is different in tone from the introductory phrase "Come to think of it, ..."

"Come to think of it" is a set phrase; that's why "that" sounds a bit awkward in it.

Your sentences are fine; my suggested changes are entirely optional.
Nov 11th 2011 10:20 M-K-G
> Also, "a happy species that enjoys the privilege of" is perfectly correct, but sounds bookish and a bit old-fashioned. It is different in tone from the introductory phrase "Come to think of it, ..."

I myself felt somewhat awkward about the last sentence, but your pointing out has made it clear.
Thank you very much!


By the way, didn't you feel strange about the difference of the tenses between "they've grown up" in the second sentence and "they become adults" in the third?
Nov 11th 2011 10:38 tony
Honestly, I didn't even notice that. "... when they've grown up..." did sound a bit awkward to me, but I don't think that had anything to do with the tense being different in the next sentence.
Nov 11th 2011 15:57 M-K-G
Then, what do you think about "... when they grow up ..."?
Nov 11th 2011 21:14 tony
It sounds better to me, but I can't really tell you why. It may be because you are talking about a condition which lasts the entire time that they are in the target state (being fully grown). Also, there is not a specific time of arrival of either state-- being fully grown or being less curious. I am guessing, though-- there are many situations in which more than one tense is possible, and it's hard to figure out why one prefers one over another.
Nov 12th 2011 09:56 Jonadab

  • On the other hand, human beings can hold their interest in various things when they become adults.
  • On the other hand, human beings can hold onto their interest in various things when they become adults. (The verb "hold" by itself usually implies having something in your hands, or believing in a particular viewpoint. If you mean "keep" or "retain", you usually should use the phrase "hold onto" instead of just "hold". This isn't an absolute rule, and native speakers will sometimes deviate from it, but following this guideline will help you avoid awkward sentences in many cases.)

 

  • Come to think of that, human beings may be a happy species that enjoys the privilege of being a child forever.
  • Come to think of that, human beings may be a particularly happy species in that they can that enjoy the privilege of remaining a child forever.

 

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