What topics are good for an icebreaker?
Oct 27th 2010 10:45
The other day I heard an interesting story from a person coming from an English speaking country.
According to him, he is often asked from a lot of Japanese if he likes Natto or not when he meet new people and this question irritates him.
He pointed out three reasons that he didn't want to be asked.
1.It is very strange in other countries to ask people you don't very well about what kind of food they like.
2.It makes you appear a bit stupid to foreigners.
3.It is boring(his personal reasons.)
He added as follows:
When you meet a new person, the best thing to begin a relationship with them is to try to find things that you have in common.
When I heard this, I was a bit surprised because topics about food makes us appear stupid! I had no idea about it and I'm wondering if it is strange in other countries or not. When I had a chance to talk with people coming from foreign countries, I usually don't ask about food,not to mention of asking "How about Natto?..how about Sushi?..how about.." again and again.
Then I'm wondering if what kind of topics are good for an icebreaker when we meet a new person. About weather or something?
I'd appreciate if you share your ideas about No.1, No.2 and the topics for an icebreaker with me.
PS.
Can I ask one more question?
When you hear the phrase"we Japanese"(us Japanese), what kind of image do you have? I hear this phrase sounds ”exclusive(排他的）" and strong, so you should avoid using this. Did I get it right? Do you use this expression? And if you use, in which situation do you use?
Thanks in advance for your corrections and advice.
According to him, he is often asked from a lot of Japanese if he likes Natto or not when he meet new people and this question irritates him.
He pointed out three reasons that he didn't want to be asked.
1.It is very strange in other countries to ask people you don't very well about what kind of food they like.
2.It makes you appear a bit stupid to foreigners.
3.It is boring(his personal reasons.)
He added as follows:
When you meet a new person, the best thing to begin a relationship with them is to try to find things that you have in common.
When I heard this, I was a bit surprised because topics about food makes us appear stupid! I had no idea about it and I'm wondering if it is strange in other countries or not. When I had a chance to talk with people coming from foreign countries, I usually don't ask about food,not to mention of asking "How about Natto?..how about Sushi?..how about.." again and again.
Then I'm wondering if what kind of topics are good for an icebreaker when we meet a new person. About weather or something?
I'd appreciate if you share your ideas about No.1, No.2 and the topics for an icebreaker with me.
PS.
Can I ask one more question?
When you hear the phrase"we Japanese"(us Japanese), what kind of image do you have? I hear this phrase sounds ”exclusive(排他的）" and strong, so you should avoid using this. Did I get it right? Do you use this expression? And if you use, in which situation do you use?
Thanks in advance for your corrections and advice.
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I didn't know about it and I'm wondering if it is strange in other countries or not.
When I had a chance to talk with people coming from foreign countries, I usually don't ask about food,not to mention of asking "How about Natto?..
Then I'm wondering if what kind of topics are good for an icebreaker when we meet a new person.
2.) I have no comment on this one, I don't think it makes anyone sound stupid....
If you want to say 'we Japanese' I think that it sounds a bit redundant unless you say 'we as Japanese' then applying that you as a group of Japanese people, so it won't sound as bad.
According to him, he is often asked from a lot of Japanese if he likes Natto or not when he meets new people for the first time and this question irritates him.
He pointed out three reasons that he didn't want to be asked this question:
It is very strange in other countries to ask people you don't very well about what kinds of food they like.
It is boring(his personal reasons reason.)
He added as follows the following:
When I heard this, I was a bit surprised because that topics about food makes us appear stupid!
I had no idea about it people felt that way, and I'm wondering if it is strange in other countries or not.
Then I'm wondering if what So what kinds of topics are good for an icebreaker when we meet a new person?
About Should I ask about the weather or something?(Your original version was a fragment sentence.)
When you hear the phrase"we Japanese"(us Japanese), what kind of image do you have?(I get the image just of Japanese people in general).
I hear this phrase sounds ”exclusive(排他的）" and strong, so you should avoid using this.(It can come across as exclusive. The reason is that when you say "we Japanese" or whichever nationality says that, it seems like you are intentionally drawing attention to the separation of "us" and "you" (the "you" being whoever you're talking to). It makes it seems like you are excluding who you're talking to. Usually, you can get by with just dropping the "we" or "us" and just say "Japanese do _this_".)
Do you use this expression?(I personally don't use the expression, "We Americans ...". If I were to talk to someone from a foreign country, I'd probably just say, "Americans do _this_" or "In America, we ...").
-Dru
The other day I heard an interesting story from a person coming from an English speaking country. ("coming from" sounds slightly unnatural. There are many other ways you could say it, such as "born in," or "raised in")
When I heard this, I was a bit surprised because topics about food make us appear stupid!
I had no idea about that, and I'm wondering if it is strange in other countries or not.
When I had a chance to talk with people coming from foreign countries, I usually don't ask about food,not to mention of asking "How about Natto?..
Now I'm wondering, if what kind of topics are good for an icebreaker when we meet a new person.
About the weather or something?
It probably sounds like a very familiar story to any foreigner living in Japan.
The issue arises in that your friend is likely asked this same question about Natto every time he meets someone new, and is frustrated by it. It is very boring to have the same conversation with every new person you meet.
He also probably feels patronized, as if his Japanese companion is treating him like a child. When you meet a new Japanese person, do you EVER ask them if they can eat Natto? In reaction to that, in his mind he is thinking "I am a grown man. There are more important things in the world to talk about. What are you, stupid?"
I don't mind, I know it's just a way for Japanese people to start a conversation on a "safe" topic. Actually, the first time I was served natto at school lunch, all the teachers eagerly waited to watch me take my first bite, haha! I found it funny, we all laughed about it and it made everyone more relaxed so we could chat more easily.
I have to admit, I don't like it when people say, "We Japanese..." because it sounds a bit like "Us vs You". So sometimes it makes me feel a little excluded, you know...
Thanks for your corrections and advice.
>it sounds a bit redundant →I see.
Hi Dru solis,
Thanks for correcting my journal entry. Your advice for 'we Japanese' helps a lot.
Hi wsmoore,
Thanks for your corrections and sharing your ideas.
>He also probably feels patronized→Yes,exactly! He said this.
Hi Jeshi,
Thanks for sharing for your experience.
>all the teachers eagerly waited to watch me take my first bite, haha! →It's really funny! I can easily visualize the scene^^)