Birthday Party
Nov 08th 2010 21:42
My friends held the birthday party for me.
To tell the truth,I could`t sleep at all on the previous day.
Because, my body's internal clock conformed to night shift completely.
I had a slight cold, a headache and a sore throat.
In addition to that,I had to work the night on the next day.
But, who care? My precious friends devoted so much time to my birthday party.
Some of them came from the local city by Shinkansen, I heard.
I was glad a lot to know that they came to see from all over Japan.
The place was a stylish wine bar.
It was famous for "outlet wine", so you can try high rank wine at a low price.
I knew this bar because I watched the TV program which introduce there before.
And I had always wanted to go there. Jackdaw always perches by jackdaw.
All of my friends love to drink wine!
After we drunk wine so much, we glided from the wine bar to my home.
My room was the best place to drink among us.
Scarcely we ran in the supermarket to buy some cheap beer when we go to the station.
What a joyful time it was! We acted our shoe size as if we were college students. One more friend joined to our party then.
He baked the birthday cake and brought it along.
There was a cute painting drown by suger on the top.
He was a good cook.
Generous wine, artistic cake and best friends...
It was an excellent birthday party.
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My friends held a birthday party for me.
To tell the truth,I couldn't sleep at all on the previous day. ("on" is okay, but not necessary)
Because my body's internal clock had become completely conformed to night shifts. (A bit better if you join this to previous sentence. Usually we try to avoid beginning a sentence with "Because", unless it is answering a question.)
In addition to that,I had to work the next night.
But, who cares?
Some of them came from their local cities by Shinkansen, I heard.
I was really glad to know that they came to see me from all over Japan.
The party was in a stylish wine bar. (Why not "place"? Because "party" is a bit clearer. And, you were just talking about your friends, so now you want to clearly show that the topic is the party again.)
It's famous for "outlet wine", so you can try high-grade wine at a low price. (Because it still has outlet wine now, we can use present tense "it is" instead of "it was")
I knew this bar because I had watched a TV program which introduced it before.
And I had always wanted to go there. (We usually try to avoid beginning a sentence with "And" as well, but it's okay in casual, so no problem)
Jackdaw always perches by jackdaw. (Hmm, interesting phrase! I haven't seen that one before. Maybe a more common one is "Birds of a feather flock together.")
After we drank much wine, we glided from the wine bar to my home. (I love "glided" here.)
My room was the best place to drink among us. (I understand this, but "among us" isn't quite right here... but I can't quickly think of a better way.)
Scarcely we ran into the supermarket to buy some cheap beer when we went to the station. (I'm not sure what you mean by "scarcely" here. Maybe "With scarcely any time"?)
We acted our shoe size as if we were college students. (Hmm, what does that mean?)
One more friend joined to our party then.
He baked the birthday cake and brought it along. (More common is "a birthday cake", but in this case we know there is only one, so "the" is also okay)
There was a cute painting drawn in sugar on the top.
Thank you! Have you ever taught English to Japanese before?
Your advice was quite plain.
By the way, the wine we drunk was Aussie one.
Thank you for produced such a nice wine! hehe