Explanation

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Mar 30th 2012 11:51
Last week I procrastinated a lot last week. Chan pointed out my laziness. Today finally I've started to study English at home. It's been difficult for me to start studying at home because I would easily change my mind when I am here. This morning I streched my body and stuck to my morning plan exactly, so now I feel nice and refreshed. I believe I will do the best for myself.
Although I know that to do the best is the best for myself, I had forgotten this until yesterday. Now I am not earning money except a small amount for living costs such assome meals, cell phone fee and subway fees, which means my parents are spendingmoney supporting me.
I am always considering this and I really want to repay this with my own way. It means I could do that after getting a job in future, which takes at least a year or more than the period. After my duty of militaryservice, I used to have dreams which were about my parents' death. I could solve that problem by writing a novel about my sadness after my mother's death in detail. My writing was a kind of evasion ofmy responsibility as a son although I thought it was the best solution at that time.
Two months ago I suddenly suggested my plan to myparents which is going to go to abroad to study English. I didn't explain myplan well especially as to money, so I sometimes tried to let total estimate about my plan look less than other students usually spend or my parents expected. Whenever I mentioned money, I could see their face frowned little. They thought a lot about that it is really a need for me.
Yesterday, the insuffiicient explanation about my plans made my parents upset and concerned, so I decided to inform them of every detail of my plan. I think it made my parents trust me more, which apprently was good for me.I don't know why I had hesitated to tell my parents this plan at some lengthuntil yesterday and what I had been scared of.
My parents' relieved faces after my detailed explanation has made me keep something important in my mind, every behavior and everybit of my time belong to my parents. This belonging is not forced by them butmyself. I'd better do the best for me and them not to regret at a moment in the future.