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May 28th 2009 02:56

With the rapid of development society,not only our life of productbecome richer ,but also our spirit turns richer and richer. Nowadays,the various of entertainment activities enter our daily life .
As we all know that,the entertainment activities will make people happy and let their body relax. Furthermore, they can get a lot of happiness
from activities. But as a saying goes"a coin has two sides".You probably be addicted to the recreational activities when you are enjoying it For instance, those who lack self-control may lost themselves in real life
so that influence their ordinary life ,study or work.
In my opinion,do proper entertainment activities is quite be good for
one's body and spirit .But you should know you mustn't do a lot of
activities in case you are hurted. In a word , do proper activity will help you keep you a good health and good spirit .Good luck!
(if this composition's full mark is 107, how marks will you give me ?? can you help me ???thank you )

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English

May 28th 2009 03:58 ZeroBomb

English
Spanish , Japanese

With the rapid of development society,not only our life of productbecome richer ,but also our spirit turns richer and richer.
With the rapid of development society,not only has our productive life of product become richer ,but also our spirit also grows richer and richer.

Nowadays,the various of entertainment activities enter our daily life .
Nowadays, varieties of entertainment activities enter our daily life .

As we all know that,the entertainment activities will make people happy and let their body relax.
As we all know that, the entertainment activities will make people happy and let their body relax.

But as a saying goes"a coin has two sides".
But as the saying goes"a coin has two sides".

You probably be addicted to the recreational activities when you are enjoying it For instance, those who lack self-control may lost themselves in real life
You probably become addicted to the recreational activities while you are enjoying them. For instance, those who lack self-control may lose themselves in real life

so that influence their ordinary life ,study or work.
so that it influences their ordinary life ,study or work.

In my opinion,do proper entertainment activities is quite be good for
In my opinion, doing proper entertainment activities is quite be good for

activities in case you are hurted.
activities in case you are hurted.

In a word , do proper activity will help you keep you a good health and good spirit .
In a word , doing proper activities will help you keep you a good health and good spirit .

"turns richer and richer" could be "turning richer and richer" but "turn" is not usually used this way. Replace "turns" with "grows" "gets" or "becomes"

I don't know what your teacher wants from the composition.
The grammar is probably 85 to 90, there are errors but the sentences are reasonably complex.