TOEFL practice

PUBLIC_FLAG_#{@journal.pf_int} RSS feed of SIYUN's latest journal entries Dec 17th 2009 15:29
Today's TOEFL practice.
(Answer that I wrote contains a little bit fiction in order to answer quickly.)

Q:
We all work or will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people. In your opinion, what are some important characteristics of a co-worker (someone you work closely with)? Use reasons and specific examples to explain why these characteristics are important.

A:
I can think many characteristics which important to work with. I have to pick one, however, I would have to choose sense of humor and kindness for the following reasons.
Most Importantly, people who has sense of humor make co-worker to happy. For example, when I was a first year to work full time at the Information Technology company called NTTDATA, I was a sales assistant. Sales assistant in the company was responsible for
making contract correctly for my customer. My supervisor, Hoshino, was very strict person but had a sense of humor. One day, I had a mistake about making contract and my costumer was very angry. I was
discouraged about it and went back to the office. Then Hoshino speaking his funny episodes which he had already mistaken experiences. Thanks to his humorous episode, I was encouraged his episode, then I started working as per usual. If I had not heard the episode, I might not have been discouraged more. As the example illustrates, sense of humor make co-worker to happy.
Secondly, kindness is allow co-worker to work well-done. For instance, in my office example above, there were very busy period in two a year. that period, office was very noisy and people were very tired. One day, My co-worker had huge amount of task and he obsessed with that task. Then, my supervisor, Hoshiono, help him to work with. Consequently, he was relaxing and the atmosphere of the office was change. Thanks to his offer, the co-worker is relaxing and work well-done. If my supervisor had not helped co-worker, he would not have work done-well. This clearly example, kindness allow co-worker to work well-done.
For the several reasons above, in my opinion, sense of humor and kindness is important characteristics to work with.

Thanks
Dec 17th 2009 19:25 Riarle3

  • (Answer that I wrote contains a little bit fiction in order to answer quickly.)
  • (The answer that I wrote contains a little bit of fiction in order to answer quickly.)

 

  • I can think many characteristics which important to work with.
  • I can think of many characteristics which are important to work with.

 

  • I have to pick one, however, I would have to choose sense of humor and kindness for the following reasons.
  • If I have to pick one, however, I would have to choose sense of humor and kindness for the following reasons.

 

  • Most Importantly, people who has sense of humor make co-worker to happy.
  • Most Importantly, people who have a sense of humor make co-workers happy.

 

  • For example, when I was a first year to work full time at the Information Technology company called NTTDATA, I was a sales assistant.
  • For example, in my first year of working full time at the Information Technology company called NTTDATA, I was a sales assistant.

 

  • Sales assistant in the company was responsible for
  • A sales assistant in the company was responsible for

 

  • making contract correctly for my customer.
  • making contracts correctly for my customers.

 

  • My supervisor, Hoshino, was very strict person but had a sense of humor.
  • My supervisor, Hoshino, was a very strict person but had a sense of humor.

 

  • One day, I had a mistake about making contract and my costumer was very angry.
  • One day, I made a mistake on a contract and my costumer was very angry.

 

  • Then Hoshino speaking his funny episodes which he had already mistaken experiences.
  • Then Hoshino talked about his funny episodes which he had already had some experiences. (I think you meant "Then, Hoshino talked about a couple of funny mistakes he had made in the past.")

 

  • Thanks to his humorous episode, I was encouraged his episode, then I started working as per usual.
  • Thanks to his humorous mistakes, I was encouraged his episode. then I started working as per usual.

 

  • If I had not heard the episode, I might not have been discouraged more.
  • If I had not heard about his mistakes, I might not have been discouraged more.

 

  • As the example illustrates, sense of humor make co-worker to happy.
  • As the example illustrates, a sense of humor makes co-worker to happy.

 

  • Secondly, kindness is allow co-worker to work well-done.
  • Secondly, kindness is allows co-workers to work better.

 

  • For instance, in my office example above, there were very busy period in two a year.
  • For instance, in my office example above, there was a very busy period over two years.

 

  • that period, office was very noisy and people were very tired.
  • During that period, the office was very noisy and people were very tired.

 

  • One day, My co-worker had huge amount of task and he obsessed with that task.
  • One day, my co-worker had huge amount of work that he obsessed over.

 

  • Then, my supervisor, Hoshiono, help him to work with.
  • Then, my supervisor, Hoshiono, helped him by working with him.

 

  • Consequently, he was relaxing and the atmosphere of the office was change.
  • Consequently, he was relaxed and the atmosphere of the office was changed.

 

  • Thanks to his offer, the co-worker is relaxing and work well-done.
  • Thanks to Hoshiono's help, the co-worker is more relaxed and working hard.

 

  • If my supervisor had not helped co-worker, he would not have work done-well.
  • If my supervisor had not helped the co-worker, he would not have done a good job.

 

  • This clearly example, kindness allow co-worker to work well-done.
  • This clearly shows that kindness allows co-workers to work better.

 

  • For the several reasons above, in my opinion, sense of humor and kindness is important characteristics to work with.
  • For the several reasons above, in my opinion, sense of humor and kindness are important characteristics to work with. (in english, when you provide proof, your proving a fact, not an opinion)

 
Very good. You should work on your grammar, as a lot of problems are with plural words and sentence structure. Interesting topic.
Dec 18th 2009 17:31 Robin

  • I can think many characteristics which important to work with.
  • I can think of many characteristics which important when working with people.

 

  • I have to pick one, however, I would have to choose sense of humor and kindness for the following reasons.
  • I had to pick one, however, I would have to choose 'a sense of humor and kindness' for the following reasons.

 

  • Most Importantly, people who has sense of humor make co-worker to happy.
  • Most Importantly, people who have a sense of humor make co-workers happy.

 

  • Sales assistant in the company was responsible for
  • As a sales assistant in the company, I was responsible for

 

  • making contract correctly for my customer.
  • making contracts correctly with my customers.

 

  • One day, I had a mistake about making contract and my costumer was very angry.
  • One day, I had made a mistake about making contract and my costumer was very angry.

 

  • Then Hoshino speaking his funny episodes which he had already mistaken experiences.
  • There, Hoshino told me his funny episodes in which he also had mistaken experiences.

 

  • Thanks to his humorous episode, I was encouraged his episode, then I started working as per usual.
  • Thanks to his humorous stories, I was encouraged his episode, then I continued working as per usual.

 

  • If I had not heard the episode, I might not have been discouraged more.
  • If I had not heard the episode, I might continued to feel disheartened.

 

  • As the example illustrates, sense of humor make co-worker to happy.
  • As the example illustrates, having a sense of humor make co-worker cheer a co-worker up.

 

  • Secondly, kindness is allow co-worker to work well-done.
  • Secondly, kindness is telling a co-worker "well-done."

 

  • For instance, in my office example above, there were very busy period in two a year.
  • For instance, in my office example above, there was a very busy period twice a year. (I'm not sure if this is what you wanted to say)

 

  • that period, office was very noisy and people were very tired.
  • In that period, the office was very noisy and people were very tired.

 

  • One day, My co-worker had huge amount of task and he obsessed with that task.
  • One day, My co-worker had huge amount of tasks and he was obsessed with those tasks.

 

  • Then, my supervisor, Hoshiono, help him to work with.
  • Then, my supervisor, Hoshiono, helped him with his work.

 

  • Consequently, he was relaxing and the atmosphere of the office was change.
  • Consequently, he relaxed and the atmosphere of the office was changed.

 

  • Thanks to his offer, the co-worker is relaxing and work well-done.
  • Thanks to his offer, my co-worker relaxed and his work was well-done.

 

  • If my supervisor had not helped co-worker, he would not have work done-well.
  • If my supervisor had not helped my co-worker, his work would not have been done well.

 

  • This clearly example, kindness allow co-worker to work well-done.
  • As this clearly exemplifies, kindness helps co-workers to get their work done well (sounds more natural).

 

  • For the several reasons above, in my opinion, sense of humor and kindness is important characteristics to work with.
  • For the several reasons above, in my opinion, sense of humor and kindness are important characteristics to work with.

 
that's very true! it makes a huge difference to the working environment

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