Re-editing please!!

The below is one of my friends' essay edited by me.
Please take a look at the revised essay and give me further corrections and suggestions.

Note:
The original sentences are also shown below, but only as a reference.
You don't have to edit them.

Thank you.

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Title:
Internship condition in Japan needs to be changed

Body:

I will become a college senior soon after I go back to Japan. I will engage in job hunting as soon as I become a senior, as many Japanese college students do. However, many of them might not have a clue about what the job is really like even though internship are available to them as valuable opportunities to think about their career. This is quite a contrast from a typical student in the US who already has a clear perspective about their future career even as a college freshman. In my opinion, Japanese college students would not fully succeed in exploring their career if they don’t recognize and face the prevailing gaps as mentioned. Accordingly, I think the current internship system in Japan should be modified to fulfill the needs by students.

To start with, what is internship? Internship is the system in which students can experience what the job is like while in college. It often involves mutual cooperation of companies and colleges to secure students’ understanding of the career. Typically, interns experience working by helping current workers. However, I think that various problems exist in the current situation as for the duration, number of intern candidates, and available internship choices. I would like to discuss these issues and state my opinion in the following.

First, the duration of internship in Japan, which is typically only two weeks in the current system, is evidently too short. It is obvious that the interns in Japan are expected to do only easy tasks, in such a limited time span. In some cases, interns are expected to simply observe how employees work. In contrast, the US internship allows much more intensive intern involvement in longer duration of three months in average. It is evident that what Japanese interns can learn through internship experience is highly limited compared to the US counterparts.

Second, many Japanese students don’t fully take advantage of internship system. They have not distinctive career visions and thus miss valuable opportunities. They simply don’t participate in internship even when it is available. Studies show that only 36% of Japanese college students participate in internship, while the ratio is above 70% in the US. I think Japanese colleges should promote students to have future career perspective through participation in internship.

Third, many companies in Japan often cannot offer internship to begin with. As having interns means sparing manpower and money for them, which is virtually a heavy burden to the company, only big or rich companies can afford that. As a result, many students even with internship experience may suffer huge gaps with their expectation and the reality when they start working for small- to medium-sized companies because those companies and their environment are indeed neglected in the current internship system in Japan.

I do agree that offering internship can entail vast expenditure to small- to medium-sized companies in the current situation in Japan. However, the expense should be considered as a necessary and important corporate investment, which will indeed pay in the long run. I think that students in Japan can be more aware of the importance of their future career designs and professional goals as workers if all more companies, regardless of the size, can offer internship so that the interns and the companies can share their values. I also believe that accepting interns can also bring about instant benefits to the companies because the supervising workers can improve their trainer or instructor skills by mentoring interns.

As stated above, my view on the internship in Japan is that the current environment should and can be improved by higher future career awareness by the students as well as greater involvement of smaller companies. I think that if interns are allowed to participate longer and more intensively in the target company environment, they can solidify the views and values about their career and also indeed prepare themselves as prospective professionals. I strongly hope that the currently problematic situation of internship in Japan will be solved with the mutual efforts by college students and companies as mentioned above.






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the original

title:
For every student in the future

body:

When I come back to Japan, I am going to be senior in Japanese university. In Japan, most students in senior are going to start job hunting. I am same. But, most Japanese student start their job hunting without awareness of “what the job is really like” even though there is good opportunity to know it—“Internship system”. This is totally different from American student who understand what the job is really like at the begging of university life. If Japanese internship still has many problems, many students are going to have disadvantage to their job, which is that they notice their job are different from what they have imaged. The Japanese internship should be improved for students.

To start with, what is “Internship”? Internship is the system that students can experience what is the job during their university life. Usually, companies and universities corporate with each other to give opportunity that student can know the job. Usually, students help a permanent employee. Japanese internship has many problems for students. This is too short, not every student, and a little company that can corporate for students.

First of all, Japanese internship is too short which is just two weeks an average. This is so short compared with America, which of that is three months an average. Students cannot know what the job is really like because Japanese companies give just an easy task for students. Sometimes, students just look that a permanent employee works. On the other hand, in America, students can be trained well and know what the job is really like because of three months. It can be said that the term od Japanese internship is not enough.

Second of all, not every student participates in internship, because they do not understand the importance of job hunting. Japanese student have low awareness of the importance of getting their job. Even though students have opportunity to attend some internship, they do not. Now, only 36 %of Japanese students participate in internship per year. This is low compared with America, which of that is more than 70%. In order to make internship be better for students, university should more inform the importance of internship and job hunting.

Third of all, a little company such as a large company corporate with universities to give opportunity to know the job for students. That’s because small and medium enterprises do not have money to do that. Companies have to spend time and money to explain what is the job is really like. Usually, it is a large company that offers internship for university students because they can afford to do it. So, most of time is that students judge the job just watching a large company without watching every company like small and medium enterprises. This is not good for students because there is possibility that student notice what the job is really like after they enter the company as a permanent employee.

You may think, it is difficult for small and medium enterprises to offer many opportunity of internship because of money. But please think about more advantages from internship than disadvantage of money. Now in japan, this is serious problem that many students have low awareness of the importance of job, but it could be solved if small and medium enterprises corporate for offering internship for students. The companies that do not start offering internship should this social contribution for Japanese students. In addition, thanks for internship, a junior employee can be well trained by teaching university students. This is good opportunity for a junior employee of small and medium enterprises.

Because of these important reasons, Japanese internship system need to be more improved for students. If much more company offer internship for students, and the term of internship be longer enough to know what the job is really like, students can prepare for their job hunting well. Also, students need to be well informed the importance of internship and job. I strongly hope the Japanese internship system will be improved for Japanese university students including me.