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PUBLIC_FLAG_#{@journal.pf_int} RSS feed of ling shan's latest journal entries Jul 02nd 2009 03:03
This is the first time for my English diary.
Afternoon, I went to PC mall with my friends about pm 1:00.
The weather is so hot,but I forgot that hot feel.
Because I enjoy happy on the way to the PC mall with my friends.
I would like to buy laptop,but i don't have enough money
I should be next time to buy it
About pm 11:00, I arrived to home
Jul 02nd 2009 03:27 Blackshark

  • This is the first time for my English diary.
  • This is the first time for my I am writing an English diary. (Or you can also say: "This is my first English diary.")

 

  • Afternoon, I went to PC mall with my friends about pm 1:00.
  • This afternoon, I went to the PC mall with my friends at about 1:00 pm

1 people think this correction is good.  

  • The weather is so hot,but I forgot that hot feel.
  • The weather is was so hot, but I didn't feel the heat. that hot feel. (You can also leave out "the weather" and just say "It was so hot outside" or "It was so hot" because it will be assumed you are talking about the weather or temperature outside. You can also say, "I didn't notice the heat")

 

  • Because I enjoy happy on the way to the PC mall with my friends.
  • Because I enjoy was feeling so happy on the way to the PC mall with my friends. (This was a very good sentence! *smile*. The sentences should be combined to say, "It was so hot outside, but I didn't notice the heat because I was feeling so happy on the way to the PC mall with my friends." It's very long sentence right? *smile*)

 

  • I would like to buy laptop,but i don't have enough money
  • I would like to buy a laptop, but i don't have enough money. (You can say, "but I didn't have enough money" also depending on your meaning. Do you mean to say that you didn't have enough money with you when you went to the mall? Or do you mean you don't have enough money to buy it yet? I think you mean "I didn't have enough money to buy it.")

1 people think this correction is good.  

  • I should be next time to buy it
  • I should be have enough money next time to buy it.

1 people think this correction is good.  

  • About pm 11:00, I arrived to home
  • At about 11:00 pm, I arrived to home. (Or you can say, "I arrived back home.")

1 people think this correction is good.  
This was very good! I understood your sentences. I wish I could buy a new laptop also *smile* Keep up your good work. I will help you any time! :)
Jul 04th 2009 20:04 ling shan

ha... thankful ,you corrected it
I'll keep working on it
ling shan
  • Traditional Chinese
  • English

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