http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/rss blondie kittyN3KO!'s latest journal entries Lang-8 Inc. Tue May 29 19:12:58 UTC 2012 Tue May 29 19:12:58 UTC 2012 Lang-8 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Lang-8
"Does not Function"

Dysfunction! Dysfunction!
There's somethin' wrong with me
look closer look closer
and maybe you can see

"Does not function correctly."
What the hell else am I supposed to do?!
go turn in my disturbed mind
for something pristine and new?

'cuz I'm not like you!

I'm disturbed, my chances at
normality are shot
why do you want me to be
the perfect little girl I'm not?!


to be continued~

Writer's last word:
the last line is actually "the cookie cutter perfection I'm not?"


Posted at Fri Nov 13 22:28:43 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/283243 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/283243 blondie kittyN3KO! Fri Nov 13 22:28:43 UTC 2009 by Escape the Fate

As you're falling down (falling down)
As you're falling down,
my heart beats the same. (beats the same)
And the tears now (tears now)
And the tears now,
run down your face.

If you had class, you'd throw down with me.
Drown in your fake personality,
shattered glass and frames (glass and frames).
Snapshots of reality,
burnt pictures and memories.
Your heart's cold and grey.

To Whom It May Concern,
I'm the same.
And all that I've learned
has faded away.

Can you tell me all the lies that you have said?
All the lies that you have said?
So keep on lying (just keep on lying today).
I find less beauty in life than death.

If you had class, you'd throw down with me.
Drown in your fake personality,
shattered glass and frames (glass and frames).
Snapshots of reality,
burnt pictures and memories.
Your heart's cold and grey.

To Whom It May Concern,
I'm the same.
And all that I've learned
has faded away.

Away! Away!

The blood still stains, and I won't be the same.

As you're falling down (falling down)
As you're falling down,
my heart beats the same.
And the tears now (tears now)
and the tears now,
run down your face.

To Whom It May Concern,
I'm the same.
And all that I've learned
has faded away.
(x2)



Posted at Thu Nov 05 22:43:54 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/276675 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/276675 blondie kittyN3KO! Thu Nov 05 22:43:54 UTC 2009 out the rain-streaked window
the air gets colder, like her heart
as icy rain turns to unforgiving snow

she gently rests her pale hand
on the freezing pane
haunted by memories of the sun
she resides behind the safety of the rain

where no one can get close enough
to hurt her, where no one can see her broken heart
no friends aside from the pain
no one to hold her together when she's falling apart

year after empty year
she spends in the land of snow
safe from the sun, the world, and herself
her little sanctuary, no one will ever know

until she found that her little sanctuary
was all in her head
the only truth that lingered
was her insanity in the end

you may see her some rainy day
haunted by his memory still
staring off into the emptiness
a single ghost-white hand rests upon the sill

then the day comes
when the sun finally shines
she smiles through her tears, and dies
the bullet clears through the endless rain
her last words a peaceful whisper
"the sun finally shines...."
she smiles and closes her eyes
for she got to see the memory of her lost love....

one last time

Posted at Fri Sep 25 20:41:32 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/244471 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/244471 blondie kittyN3KO! Fri Sep 25 20:41:32 UTC 2009 I'm sitting in my math class messaging my cyber bffs instead of
working online like a good student. but when have i ever been a good
student to a teacher who hates me? never. I'll be nice to the nice, but
if someone tries my short temper, then my attenetion span is put to better use elsewhere. plus, I'm more of a literature person, literature
and select choir. so yeeeeeaaaaaaah...please send me as many
messages as possible people, think of the poor 15 year-old trying not
to fall asleep in math class lol =D one tries feebly. well I send love
and hugs to all my cyberbffs, you all are as important to me as real bffs
love natalie =^-^=

Posted at Thu Sep 24 21:39:09 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/243840 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/243840 blondie kittyN3KO! Thu Sep 24 21:39:09 UTC 2009
you shiver as I hold you in my arms
holding you close to my cold silent chest
feeling your heat radiating through me
would you die for me?
Because this is your test.

You fell for me, foolish mortal,
A soulless creature of the night
not your type of storybook Nosferatu,
I walk among my prey in a world of light

You laid asleep in your bed
hoping your broken heart would mend
by loving me, you healed it,
but now it is your end.

I made a vow to this silent heart of mine
that I would kill this insolent race
because of a mortal from my past
made this heart of stone, break....

And now you shall feed my lust for vengeance,
to kill all those who could ever get close enough to hurt me
because the one who did, died in my arms
as you will tonight, the last love you shall ever see

I kill because I cannot die, oh how I wish I could
to be with my love forever, to end this pain
so I am forced to survive, and I will watch you,
as I drain you and watch your blood become a mere stain

But tonight I will let you kill me,
because tonight is the night my love died
at the hand of another, and because,
that night, was the first and the last time, I ever cried....

Posted at Tue Aug 25 05:34:31 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/220745 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/220745 blondie kittyN3KO! Tue Aug 25 05:34:31 UTC 2009 from depression's noose
to live or not
it's a choice I had to choose

People say life isn't
all that bad
but it was a life
I never had

close your eyes
I don't want to see
the darkness closing
in around me

clinically insane they say
she's completely psycho
only because I'm sad
they don't care where I go

I asked for the truth
tey told only lies
an unspoken sadness;
they wanted me to die

bet you wish
you'd been nicer instead
because you don't have a victim
when the victim is dead

haunted by insomnia
dreaming of dreams
I only got nightmares
the night echoes with my screams

happiness by fools
is sought
'God' will always love me
or that's what I thought

people say life isn't
that bad
but it was a life.....

I never had.........

Posted at Sat Aug 22 16:41:50 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218784 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218784 blondie kittyN3KO! Sat Aug 22 16:41:50 UTC 2009
It must've been a dream



I'm happy now

I can finally rest

this night will always be remembered

as my last and best


you grasp my hand in yours

and touch it to your face

pull me closer in your arms

I will die no other place


I try to explain through tears

that this is the way it has to be

you hold me tight and whisper

"please don't leave me"



taking a shaky breath

I look into your beautiful eyes,

and swear to you:

"This is not goodbye"



"I will protect you,"you vow

"I will keep you safe"

"It's not my choice," I said

"This is my fate."


"The same thing

that brought us together,

through heaven and through hell," I swear

"I will love you forever."


I cry harder, because

my time with you is slipping away....

closing my eyes, I hear

"No please; you have to stay!!!"



"Don't go!!! Please-

I love you!!!"


I struggle to open my eyes and say:

"I will always love you,

and I will never forget you..."



His angelic face,

forever preserved in memory,

As I closed my eyes,

leaving him and this world behind,

We may never see each other ever again,

but in my next life, I'll remember our love;

So strong it was, who was he?

Then I'll shake my head, the memory forever lost to time,
and say:

"It must've been a dream......."







Posted at Sat Aug 22 16:40:57 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218783 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218783 blondie kittyN3KO! Sat Aug 22 16:40:57 UTC 2009 you're standing on the ledge
looking down on the world
step closer to the edge

close your eyes
lean up on your toes
beginning of your end
ready, set, go!

flying or falling
whether in death or in love
is always the same,
starting in the heavens above

always the same
it ends, and ends with pain
your heart, your body
silent tears, and silent rain

I've fallen even farther
beyond the aces and kings
no hierarchy rules me now
that I've spread my wings

this is it,
this is all I can ever be
flying or falling
my death set me free

flying above
in love she fell
from heaven
jumped this angel
she's finally free.........

free from living hell.

Posted at Sat Aug 22 16:38:31 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218780 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218780 blondie kittyN3KO! Sat Aug 22 16:38:31 UTC 2009 of false hope and pain
where you're either
dead or insane

Seeing most people today
I'd say it's a mix of the two
in this world of eat or be eaten
there's not much else you can do

Walking down Hell's Road
lined with the dead
you either die or keep walking
to your potential end

what are you searching for?
You're looking to fit in, a place to call home
a someone in this nowhere
you don't want to walk this road alone

A someone that can help
to heal your broken heart
that will hold you together
when you feel like you're falling apart

A someone who listens
and knows you
and talks about things
with you too

A someone who makes you laugh
and can always make you smile
even when you hurt so bad
and it seems like there's not so many miles

A someone with a warm shoulder
when you're crying
and a light in the darkness
when inside, you're dying

A someone to hold your hand
to go with you
at the end of your journey

you realize, this wasn't just your story,
It was an adventure........a journey...........

The Endless Road made this A Tale of Two, walking through these moments, memories, and through finding ourselves, my friend until the end,

it's just me and you.

Posted at Sat Aug 22 16:37:08 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218779 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218779 blondie kittyN3KO! Sat Aug 22 16:37:08 UTC 2009 (a song i randomly created)

I loved you so much.....
but you pushed me away (whisper) push me away
and now you're surprised,
when I gave up today. (whisper) given up no longer to stay

I tried everything
but I couldn't give you myself (whisper) I did what you wanted
I've erased who I am
locking away my heart (whisper) lock away the pain
and everything else

(scream) push me away!

insanity! insanity!

unlike life and love,
only hate has true clarity
so see what you believe
(scream)believe in the end of me

you hate yourself (whisper) so do you?
so you're going to die
well then this is the last time
you'll ever make me cry (whisper)you never saw

(scream) push me away!

insanity! insanity!

because I've given up on life (whisper) the end of me
and I've given up on you
now watch as I fall (whisper) I'm pulling the trigger
there's nothing you can do

(scream) nothing!

nothing left of me to love.....


Posted at Sat Aug 22 16:35:07 UTC 2009
]]> http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218778 http://www.lang-8.com/70762/journals/218778 blondie kittyN3KO! Sat Aug 22 16:35:07 UTC 2009