My mistake
Nov 11th 2009 04:37
Originally, I thought that on-line chatting will take a lot of time.
so, I decided to write e-mails instead of MSN chatting.
but when I was writing a mail, I had more thoughts than using MSN. It took more time than the other. It was a big mistake.
so, I decided to write e-mails instead of MSN chatting.
but when I was writing a mail, I had more thoughts than using MSN. It took more time than the other. It was a big mistake.
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So, I decided to write e-mails instead of MSN chatting on MSN.
But when I was writing a mail message, I had more thoughts than when I use using MSN.
Originally, I thought (that) online chatting will would take a lot of time. (or "a long time") (We sometimes leave out 'that')
so, I decided to write e-mails instead of MSN chatting on MSN. (I think you should attach this to the previous sentence, in which case you would put the comma before 'so'.)
But when I was writing a mail an e-mail one time, I had more thoughts than using MSN realized that I had more and more thoughts as I wrote, a lot more than when I would use MSN. (The problem is that it sounds weird to say that you have "more thoughts," so it needs to be explained/illustrated.)
... It took more time than the other just using MSN. (I feel like this sentence is expressing a slight embarrassment, so I added '...'. Using 'the other' here sounds odd because 'the other' is usually used more formally, or for when presenting choices.)
It was a big mistake. (You should connect this sentence to the previous one with a dash [--])