Ten Principles for My Journal Entries
Feb 13th 2011 03:16
It's been a long time, everyone!
A lot of water has flowed under the bridge, but it seems to me that everything has gone by so quickly. Hopefully, you'll receive me with a warm welcome back.
For months, I've been struggling with myself who had difficulty writing a new entry. Whenever I tried to write something, I just started to dislike it and threw it away.
Besides improving your language skills, there might be another objective in writing entries on here in a foreign language; for example, some people think it's writing as many entries as possible. That is an excellent idea, but I can never do something like that.
If it's possible for me, I'd like to work on interesting articles with a good construction, which could make many people want to read them even months (or years) later.
Nearly one year ago, a good friend of mine on Lang-8 suggested that I should give the following qualities to my journal (the clauses after the colons are my interpretations):
1. Staying on topic: mixing a lot of off-topic contents into the entry may confuse the readers.
2. Giving clear information: what do you want to say? (What's the point?)
3. Being neutral, against, or for the topic throughout the entry: it's important to maintain a careful distance from extreme views.
4. Keeping the same tone throughout the entry: of course, it's unless your entry is a jumble of unrelated ideas.
5. Adding personality to the entry: make the readers understand that this is YOUR entry.
6. Entry organizational: an entry should have a good construction (? I'm not sure if my interpretation is correct.)
7. Having a smooth transition form one topic to the next: it's just like a soothing melody...
Since then, these have been seven principles to write my journal entries, though I don't know if I've gone through with them so far.
I've learned that, from my experience after that, three more qualities should be added to them:
8. Being interactive: communicating with readers through comments and replies are sometimes more fruitful than keeping a journal itself.
9. Giving no negative messages: instead, giving positive thoughts could attract a wide range of people.
10. Being open to the world: then you'll perhaps get feedback from the world.
I have no intention of pushing these ten principles onto other people on here; but some of these may help them to write their entries.
What do you think about these? I'd like to hear your opinions.
ﾟ･*:.｡. .｡.:･
☆。・:*゜。・:*゜
(日本語)
みなさん、お久しぶりです。
ずいぶんと時が経ち色々なことがありましたが、私にとってはあっという間のようでした。「お帰りなさい」という暖かい言葉がもらえるといいのですが。
何ヶ月もの間、なかなか新しいエントリーを書けない自分と闘っていました。いつも何かを書こうとすると、すぐそれが嫌になってやめていたのです。
語学力を伸ばす以外にも、ここで外国語のエントリーを書く目的があるかもしれません。例えばそれは、人によってはできるだけ多くの日記を書くことでしょう。素晴らしいことですが、私にはとても真似ができません。
できることなら、何ヶ月、いいえ何年後になっても多くの人に読んでもらえるような、構成のしっかりとした興味深い文章に取り組んでみたいのです。
１年近く前、Lang-8 の親しい友達から私がエントリーを書く際に気をつけるようにと次のようなアドバイスをもらいました（コロンの後の文章は私の解釈です）：
１．テーマに忠実なこと：無関係な内容をごちゃ混ぜにすると読む人に分かりにくくなります。
２．明確な情報を示すこと：何を言いたいのか（伝えたいことは何か）。
３．エントリーを通じて常にテーマに関して中立を保つこと：偏った見方から距離を置くことが大切です。
４．エントリーを通じて一定のトーンを保つこと：もちろん、そのエントリーが相互に無関係なことの寄せ集め出なければ、ですが。
５．エントリーに自分の個性を加えること：これが「あなたの」エントリーであることを、よく人に分かってもらいましょう。
６．Entry organizational（？）：構成のしっかりしたエントリーにすること（？ この解釈が正しいかどうか分かりません）
７．１つのテーマから次のテーマへの流れをスムーズにすること：心地良いメロディーのように。。。
それ以来、これがエントリーを書くときの私の７つの原則になりました。これまでその通りにできたかどうかは分かりませんが。
更に、その後の経験から３つのことを加えたほうが良いことが分かりました。
８．対話的であること：コメントやお返事を通じて交流することは、エントリーを書くこと自体よりも実り多いことがあります。
９．ネガティブなメッセージを発信しないこと：むしろ前向きの考え方の方が多くの人の支持を得ることができます。
１０．世界に向けて公開すること：そうすれば世界から反響が返ってくるかもしれません。
この10個の原則を人に押し付けるつもりはありません。でも、他の人がエントリーを書くときにも役に立つものもあるのではないでしょうか。
このことについて、どう思いますか？あなたの意見を聞きたいな～。
A lot of water has flowed under the bridge, but it seems to me that everything has gone by so quickly. Hopefully, you'll receive me with a warm welcome back.
For months, I've been struggling with myself who had difficulty writing a new entry. Whenever I tried to write something, I just started to dislike it and threw it away.
Besides improving your language skills, there might be another objective in writing entries on here in a foreign language; for example, some people think it's writing as many entries as possible. That is an excellent idea, but I can never do something like that.
If it's possible for me, I'd like to work on interesting articles with a good construction, which could make many people want to read them even months (or years) later.
Nearly one year ago, a good friend of mine on Lang-8 suggested that I should give the following qualities to my journal (the clauses after the colons are my interpretations):
1. Staying on topic: mixing a lot of off-topic contents into the entry may confuse the readers.
2. Giving clear information: what do you want to say? (What's the point?)
3. Being neutral, against, or for the topic throughout the entry: it's important to maintain a careful distance from extreme views.
4. Keeping the same tone throughout the entry: of course, it's unless your entry is a jumble of unrelated ideas.
5. Adding personality to the entry: make the readers understand that this is YOUR entry.
6. Entry organizational: an entry should have a good construction (? I'm not sure if my interpretation is correct.)
7. Having a smooth transition form one topic to the next: it's just like a soothing melody...
Since then, these have been seven principles to write my journal entries, though I don't know if I've gone through with them so far.
I've learned that, from my experience after that, three more qualities should be added to them:
8. Being interactive: communicating with readers through comments and replies are sometimes more fruitful than keeping a journal itself.
9. Giving no negative messages: instead, giving positive thoughts could attract a wide range of people.
10. Being open to the world: then you'll perhaps get feedback from the world.
I have no intention of pushing these ten principles onto other people on here; but some of these may help them to write their entries.
What do you think about these? I'd like to hear your opinions.
ﾟ･*:.｡. .｡.:･
☆。・:*゜。・:*゜
(日本語)
みなさん、お久しぶりです。
ずいぶんと時が経ち色々なことがありましたが、私にとってはあっという間のようでした。「お帰りなさい」という暖かい言葉がもらえるといいのですが。
何ヶ月もの間、なかなか新しいエントリーを書けない自分と闘っていました。いつも何かを書こうとすると、すぐそれが嫌になってやめていたのです。
語学力を伸ばす以外にも、ここで外国語のエントリーを書く目的があるかもしれません。例えばそれは、人によってはできるだけ多くの日記を書くことでしょう。素晴らしいことですが、私にはとても真似ができません。
できることなら、何ヶ月、いいえ何年後になっても多くの人に読んでもらえるような、構成のしっかりとした興味深い文章に取り組んでみたいのです。
１年近く前、Lang-8 の親しい友達から私がエントリーを書く際に気をつけるようにと次のようなアドバイスをもらいました（コロンの後の文章は私の解釈です）：
１．テーマに忠実なこと：無関係な内容をごちゃ混ぜにすると読む人に分かりにくくなります。
２．明確な情報を示すこと：何を言いたいのか（伝えたいことは何か）。
３．エントリーを通じて常にテーマに関して中立を保つこと：偏った見方から距離を置くことが大切です。
４．エントリーを通じて一定のトーンを保つこと：もちろん、そのエントリーが相互に無関係なことの寄せ集め出なければ、ですが。
５．エントリーに自分の個性を加えること：これが「あなたの」エントリーであることを、よく人に分かってもらいましょう。
６．Entry organizational（？）：構成のしっかりしたエントリーにすること（？ この解釈が正しいかどうか分かりません）
７．１つのテーマから次のテーマへの流れをスムーズにすること：心地良いメロディーのように。。。
それ以来、これがエントリーを書くときの私の７つの原則になりました。これまでその通りにできたかどうかは分かりませんが。
更に、その後の経験から３つのことを加えたほうが良いことが分かりました。
８．対話的であること：コメントやお返事を通じて交流することは、エントリーを書くこと自体よりも実り多いことがあります。
９．ネガティブなメッセージを発信しないこと：むしろ前向きの考え方の方が多くの人の支持を得ることができます。
１０．世界に向けて公開すること：そうすれば世界から反響が返ってくるかもしれません。
この10個の原則を人に押し付けるつもりはありません。でも、他の人がエントリーを書くときにも役に立つものもあるのではないでしょうか。
このことについて、どう思いますか？あなたの意見を聞きたいな～。
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お久しぶりです。
極めて深遠な見識をお持ちになっておられるようです。
るみさんのご提案の全てに感服致しますが、私は未だ発展が乏しく、失敗も多い者ですので、「世界に発信」はちょっと無理かもしれません。「世界の寛大で見識豊かな方たちに発信」にならば、是非とも私の学習のため、そのように致したいと思います（笑）
巳代吉
自分の日記がLang-8以外で紹介されていたのを知って、なるほどな～と思いました。世界に発信できるんです☆
あ、それとＨＮはタイムマシンレクイエムより巳代吉の方が絶対いいよ！！
6000 corrections seems like population at a town. I see how hard it is one person has accomplished these. You must be very tired sometimes. Nevertheless, excellent English...Enormous number of great opinons you will collect and hear as a suggestion, and then should inherit a part of the world's heritages, hand down from you to your other friends(it's like this post). That'll construct the global peace. Here seems to be the true Land of the Rising Sun. You shall be the crest on Lang-8. One cannot doubt it. Please walk on the light road.
<翻訳>
ご好意に大変感謝致します。
６０００件は町の人口のようです。私は1000件弱ですので、一人の人がそれらを成し遂げることがいかなる偉業かがわかります。るみさんは大変に疲れているに違い在りません。にもかかわらず、最高級の英語であられます。巨大な数の素晴らしい意見を一つの御参考のため、御耳をお傾けになられることでしょうし、時には遺産の一部を継承し、誰かにお渡しにするはずです（今回のように）。それは世界の平和を建築することでしょう。真の日出づる国ここに在りと思われます。ラングエイトの冠になられるお方であります。何の疑問もありません。世界にもさらなる御伝達をなさって、光りの照らされた道をお歩きになって、もし御気が向きましたら私の投稿にも是非とも御御足を。；）
※いつか巳代吉にするでしょう。私の先生もるみさんがそう言うならそうしたほうがいいと仰っておりますｗ nekokaburiさんという御方をご紹介致します。ぜひとも彼の記事を一見。
※何よりるみさんの記事を見ると、体力の面から男たる者もっとがんばらなきゃならないなと思いますけれども、知性の点から足元にも及びません（笑） ほっほ（。ｗ。）
６０００件って何のことかと思ったら添削数なんですね。最近は自分でチェックしていないので。Nanaさん↓の方が添削数も日記の数もずっとすごいですよ。私なんか足元にも及ばない。
ＨＮ巳代吉になったら御御足突っ込みますヾ(〃ﾟ∀ﾟ)┏θ
真面目なご挨拶の一環なのであります。ｗ
Nanaさん？斉藤様のことのようですね＾＾
いつからか日本の女性の投稿を見ないようにしていたのでわかりませんでした＾＾でもNanaさんはとても御優しそうなので是非とも拝見致します。ＨＮ、変えますよ★私は復活します！ｗ
・・・俺もここで変えなきゃ男が廃るな・・・
これだけ待たせて滅茶苦茶な英語だったら恥ずかしいですよね（笑）
Nanaさんは日記の数でも添削数でも私を圧倒してるじゃないですか～
私の方こそ尊敬しておりますわ～
写真は今までのが飽きてきたので、また戻しました U_U
The advice that you gave about writing blog entries is indeed very much in common with the practice of professional writers according to studies.
Thank you for the compliment! I really appreciate it.
Hopefully, I'll live up to these standards and become a professional writer and bairin gyaru.
Roomyさんにそんな風に言われちゃったら、、、
嬉しくて木に登っちゃいますよ～♪ ＊^0^＊
白いブラウスのRoomyさんの笑顔も眩しいくらい素敵ですよね☆
でも、絶対に直に会えたらRoomyさんは写真よりも数十倍カワイイと
踏んでいます（=推測しています）♪ ^^
（↑：日本語学習者の方が分かるように、、、^^）
蠍座の方って美形の方が多い気がするのは、、、私だけ？ ^^
あ、コメントの論点がずれてきましたね、すみません、、、f(^^;;
今まで自分の星座だと考えてたものが実は間違いだったかも知れないという話です。
http://www.gizmodo.jp/2011/01/post_8334.html
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/01/11/age-aquarius-actually-age-capricorn-thanks-rotation-earth/#ixzz1B2XbG2V5
これによると、私は天秤座？？？
今までの占いや性格判断は何だったの？ということになりますよね。。。
でも「全日本国民的美少女コンテスト」の過去12回のグランプリの方たち( http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%85%A8%E6%97%A5%E6%9C%AC%E5%9B%BD%E6%B0%91%E7%9A%84%E7%BE%8E%E5%B0%91%E5%A5%B3%E3%82%B3%E3%83%B3%E3%83%86%E3%82%B9%E3%83%88 ）の誕生日をみてみると、、、
第3回11/10生れ・第4回11/6生れ・第5回11/2生れ・第7回11/1生れとなっており、11月上旬の方たちは美人が多いのでは?!、という私の印象もあながち外れてはいなそうな、、、♪
統計学的な信憑性はなさそうな。。。
って言うか、この日記のテーマと関係ないし（笑）
テーマに即したディスカッションなら、いつでも大歓迎です＾＾
お帰りなさい～♪
ただいま帰りました♪
初めてコメントをもらえてとっても嬉しいです☆
これからもよろしくお願いします！
おやすみなさい～
私もRoomyさんの投稿を見てうれしいです。
皆さんのコメントはすごく多いですね。
さすがは大人気者ですね。＾＾
以前は、日記を書いても10時間近くコメントも添削も無いことがありました。
それを思い出すと、今こんなに多くの人たちからコメントや添削をもらえるようになって本当に幸せです☆
Hope. . .you are good.
I went through your entry and after reading it out, I'd like to say that it was quite interesting. Thanks for sharing. . .
Welcome to my journal! Thank you for your comment!!!
I'm so glad you're interested in my entries.
Please come again! ☆
Entry organizational: an entry should have a good construction (?Maybe a better term would be: "entry organization" or "entry structure".
Thank you for your correction and explanation!
I'm back!!!
Hvala vam puno! (I hope this is correct.)
"Hvala vam puno!" Is correct, and formal. Informal would be "Hvala ti puno!"
Thanks for giving me an opportunity to give you tips in Croatian language. ;)
It's very interesting for me to know new words in a foreign language. Thank you for letting me know.
Hvala ti puno!
この年になるまで自分の文章を指摘されたことがほとんどなかったので、「ひどい日本語だな」と思いながら書いてます。(泣)
私が指導された唯一の言葉は「書き手は常に読み手であれ」です。そのときは、「たしかに、その言葉に様々な要点が集約されているけど、もっと具体的なアドバイスをくれ」と思ったものです。それ以来、悪戦苦闘しながら文章を練っています。(笑)
個人的に気をつけていることは、次の3つです。
1.主語と述語を対応させる。
2.修飾語と非修飾語の関係を明確にする。
3.簡潔で簡単な文を作る。
基礎の基礎ですが、意外と難しいです。
簡潔な文を作るという意味では、岩淵悦太郎の「悪文」には、「なるほど」と思わされました。しかし、「書く力を向上させるか」と問われると、その意味ではあまり役に立たなかったと思います。
どうも方向性がおかしくなりそうなので、このあたりでやめておきます。取り留めのない文章ですいません。
有益な情報をありがとうございます。
すごく参考になるお話、ありがとうございます。
私もふだん日本語できちんとした文章が書けているかというと？？？なので（笑）、ただ漠然と書くのではなく、文章構造をよく考えて書くことはとても大切ですね。
特に英語のような外国語で書くと、ふだん日本語で書いている時の文章の曖昧さがはっきり出てしまうことがあります。
私ももっと勉強しなければなりません。
逆に外国の方が書いた日本語を読むと、日本語は主語を省略するということが強調されすぎているのか、ときどき意味不明の文章に出くわすことがあります。
自然で、なおかつ明瞭な文章って難しいですね。
Hopefully, you'll give me a warm welcome back.
For months, I've been struggling against myself because of the difficulties of writing new entries.
Whenever I tried to write something, I started to dislike it and ended up throwing it away.
Besides improving your language skills, there might be another objectives in writing entries on here in a foreign language; for example, some people think it's writing as many entries as possible.When you have a semicolon, "for example" or "because" in some cases can be omitted.
Thank you for your corrections and sweet comment! I'm so happy you describe this as sweet!!!
Yes, your Japanese entries are very interesting and well written as well. I've always been looking forward to reading them.
Hopefully, I can add more charm to my entries--like you did to your entries. :)
意見は私が正気の時に書きます。＾＾＊
とりあえず、挨拶だけでもしたくて入ってきました！
そう言っていただけると、すごく嬉しいです（*＾▽＾*）
ええっ？いま正気じゃないの？
でもハナさんの鬼気迫る文章も読んでみたいな～☆
＾＾＊
ルミさんの文を読んでみたら、ルミさんの慎重な性格が見えているようです。
悩むこともいいことだと思っています～。
＊＾＾＊
私なんか酔ったら何が何だか分からなくなります（笑）
たまには私もほろ酔い加減で書いてみようかな。そうしたら、もっとスラスラ書けるかも☆
私はもともと酒好きだけど、最近は健康の問題で、ワインをたまに飲むことで、我慢してます。お酒を飲んで、文章を書くと冷静的には書けないかも知れないけど、今まで、自分も知らなかった自分を見つけるかも知れませんね～～！！！
わう～～なんだかよさそうですね。おススメします。飲酒エントリー！！
それじゃないと、イケメンの写真を見ながら、お酒まで飲むと多分すらすらすらすらすらすらすらすら書けると思います。
私にはそれが利くけど、ルミさんにはどうかな？
飲酒エントリー（笑）
私はお酒を飲むよりお酒に飲まれるほうだから大丈夫かしら。
おもいっきり間違いだらけになりそう(≧∇≦)
あ、それとハナさんのイケメン好きはもう有名ですね☆
私もイケメンは大好きだけどね～（笑）
今度、私もイケメンの写真を見ながら、エントリーを書いてみようっと！
For months, I've been struggling with against my self who had difficulty troubles with writing a new entry. (I'm not so sure here, but I think that if you want to talk about the part of you that wasn't satisfied with what you wrote, you should split "myself" in two words, like in "my old self")
Besides improving your language skills, there might be another objective in writing entries on here in a foreign language. For example, some people think / For some people, it's writing as many entries as possible.
That is an excellent idea, but I can could never do something like that. ("Can never" sounds a bit weird because you never know the future for sure. I think you should stick with "I cannot do something like that" or "I could never do something like that")
If it's possible for me / If possible, I'd like to work on interesting articles with a good construction, which could make many people want to read them even months (or years) later.
Having a smooth transition from one topic to the next other: it's just like a soothing melody...
Since then, these have been seven principles to write for writing my journal entries, though I don't know if I've gone through with followed them so far.
I've learned that, from my experience after that, that three more qualities should be added to them:
welcome back.
These are pretty interesting principles and from what I've seen so far, you're following them without a doubt.
But I doubt that anybody could follow them. For they must be pretty demanding both in time and in skills. I don't think anyone can write an article so well structured without spending a lot of time on it. When I think of the time I sometimes need to phrase a few thoughts, it could make my head spin. ^^
I think you're truly one of a kind. And I really mean it in a good way. Most people, including myself, come here to practice one or maybe two foreign languages so they mostly write in order to test their skills and see if they can convey their thoughts clearly. The subject of the articles doesn't come first. Their first purpose is study before communication.
But you're different. Even though your first purpose for coming to this site may have been your envy to study, you now are like a kind of angel of lang-8. Your entries are so few, while your corrections are the highest I've ever seen. This site works on a give and take principle, but you're clearly more a giver than a reciever. Not only do your entries almost not need any correction, but you're making them interesting for people.
I said it in a previous entry, but I hope that one day, I'll be able to write here like you!
ただいま～
Thank you for your corrections and kind comment!!! I'm extremely flattered and honored to receive the compliment.
Honestly, it isn't so easy for me to write journal entries in a foreign language. It's because, I suppose, I've always been setting high standards for my journal. So I spent a lot of time whenever I tried to write new entries. I don't think this is necessary for other people who are aiming to improve their language skills. Everyone has his/her own way of studying languages.
I know I haven't been working on a give-and-take basis on this site; I always feel happy when my corrections receive appreciative words from other people. I love to help everyone who is leaning Japanese, even though s/he cannot help me. Of course, a lot of comment given by them on my entries have always been emotional support for me.
I'm sorry I haven't corrected your entries recently. I'm glad you're so broad-minded. :)
The fact that I'm really happy when you do does not imply that I expect you to correct each and everyone of them. I have no right to demand such a thing. :)
You're already doing so much for everyone here! And you have the right to take some time for yourself like everybody else. In fact, I even think that you deserve it probably more than anybody else.
But I now realize that I've forgotten the most important part of my comment earlier! I hope that your inner struggles have come to an end. I don't know if it was a lack of confidence due to the high standards you're setting for your entries or a lack of motivation but let me reassure you about the very high quality of what you're writing.
It's good to have you back. o(^-^)o
How kind of you to say warm words of encouragement to me!!!
Thank you so much!!! It makes me happy that you agree with my point of view. Everyone has worries and problems, and I am no exception. Having said that, trying to stay positive looks attractive to other people. There are many mistakes in my English, but I won't worry about that because kind people always help me. :)
お帰りなさい。ルミちゃん！
日記に日本語の訳文も書いてあって、ありがとうございます。
私は英語が出来ないので、日本語の方が理解できます。＾＾
日記を書く時「１０個の原則」を教えていただき、ありがとうございます。
すごく勉強になりました。
いつも教えていただく事が多く、心からお礼を言います。
ルミちゃん、いつもありがとうございます。
シュウ
ただいま～ (＾0＾)/
> 私は英語が出来ないので、日本語の方が理解できます。＾＾
やった～！！！
英語だけだと分かりにくいという方々のために、日本語訳も付けるようにしたんです。シュウさんからもコメントもらえて大成功！（ごめんなさい、ははは）
シュウさんの日記はいつも簡潔で、テーマがはっきりしていますね。
それに何より、読む人を勇気付けてくれます。
私も見習うべき点が多いです。
これからも、よろしくお願いします！！！
褒め過ぎですよ。＾０＾
書けない人（私）は短い文しか書けないですよ。＾＿＾
ルミ先生、また沢山教えてくださいね！
よろしくおねがいします。
シュウ
これはすごいことですよ☆
短い日記でも毎日コツコツと書いていれば１冊の本ぐらいの分量になります。
私はどちらかと言うと、考えをため込んでから書くほうなので、毎日スラスラとは書けないんです。
人それぞれ、得手不得手がありますね。。。
そして言葉の差異がありますから、時々に変な日本語を入力して、必ず私の文を添削する人に迷惑をかけると思います。特にあなたです。いつも私の文を添削していますから＠＠。
私の文を拝見して、もっと上手な日本語を目指して頑張ります。でもテーマを確定することは大変ですね！『笑』
きよひろさんの日記は時に詩的だったりして、いかにも音楽家だな～という感じを抱いています。日本語は、私が最初に添削した頃と比べると、だんだん上手になっていますよ。でもそのために、他の人からも添削されやすくなってしまいますね（笑）
どんな難しい笛の魔語も理解できるのは私だけかもしれません(*^m^*)
For months, I've been struggling with myself who had having difficulties writing a new entry.
Keeping the same tone throughout the entry: of course, it's unless otherwise your entry will be a jumble of unrelated ideas.
Having a smooth transition form one topic to the next: it's just like a soothing melody... <"from one topic to the next" sounds fine>
Being interactive: communicating with readers through comments and replies is sometimes more fruitful than keeping a journal itself. <"communicating" is singular; "is" relates to "communicating"... "communicating with readers is sometimes more fruitful..."; you can add more modifiers to "communicating", but it remains singular>
Giving no negative messages: instead, giving positive thoughts could attract a wide range of people. <"Not giving negative messages" sounds better IMO>
I have no intention of pushing these ten principles onto other people on here; but some of these may help them to write their entries.
Whoops, I made a blunder again in regard to number concord. I tend to do it when the subjects are followed by modifiers... ><
BTW, I've noticed that you've replied to people in French and Croatian. Why don't you list all the languages that you know or are studying on your lang-8 home page? ^^
I always look up in dictionaries or relevant sites when I want to say foreign words which I'm not familiar with.
Lo siento mucho, haha.
こんにちは！
しっかりとした指針を持って、発言したり文章を書くことは大事ですね。
僕は、仕事上プレゼンテーションしたり、趣味でも人前で挨拶をすることがあるので、Roomyさんの今回のテーマは、ここだけではなく普段の仕事などにも役立つ内容と思います。
ただ、Lang-8にしても、他のSNSへの参加でもなかなかしっかりと内容を固めて書くには時間がありませんし、スキルもありません。
そんな理由でTwitterがお気楽な感じがするのかもしれませんが・・・。
でもTwitterこそ１４０字でしっかりと伝えないといけないかもしれませんね。
ただでも投稿が少ないので、簡単でもいいので書こうかとも思う反面、書くのだから自分の実になるように参加しなくてはとも思ってしまいます。
スキルアップを目指さなくては。
ちょっと自分を見つめなおすチャンスをくれた、このRoomyさんのテーマ、ありがとうございます。
hide-pierre
お久しぶりです。
私もこのサイトで writing skills を上げることが一番の目標なので、きちんとした文章構成力の必要性を、痛感しています。
しっかりした文章が書けない人は、プレゼンなども上手くできないのではないでしょうか。
逆に簡単な会話だと、極端な話「ワタシ、スキ、コレ！」みたいな表現でも、とりあげず意味は通じてしまいますよね。
Twitter人気の一因がそれと関係あるかは分かりませんが、Skype, Skypeと叫ぶ外国人の人が多いのもそのせいなのかな、と思ったりしています。
Professional writing を目指すんだったら、まず母国語での表現力から磨かなければならないかもしれません。
お互いに頑張りましょう☆
For months, I've been struggling with the part of myself who had difficulty writing a new entry.
すばらしい文章をまた書いていただきありがとうございます！
なるほど、そういう考えを持って文章を書くのはなんてうらやましいです。
勉強させていただきます。
コメントありがとうございます。
中・日・英、三ヶ国語で書くaomiさんの日記も時々読ませていただいていますが、構成がしっかりしていて、とてもよく書けていますよ。
私も勉強させてくださいね☆
全て大切なのは分かるけど、二つか三つクリアしていればいいんじゃないかな。
個人的には＃９がいつも念頭にあります。
普段の生活でもトラブルは沢山あるのに、わざわざネガティブなこと書いてもしょうがないと思います。ただ脳天気なエントリーならいい、って訳でもないけど。
Lang-8も会員数が２０万人を越えたあたりから、いかがわしい人も増えてきたような気がしてます。あー、そうだ。そんなテーマでも一つ書いてみようっかな。
関東は雪の二日間でしたが、本日は快晴。お家でのんびりしてます。
＃９の点は、私ももう少し詳しく書きたかったんですが、そうなると全体のバランスが崩れるし分量も倍ぐらいになっちゃうので、やめました。
要するに、愚痴や悩みを書いてもいいけど、それだけで終わらせるんじゃなくて、最後に前向きな態度がないと読むほうもコメントしづらいですよね。
そうすると＃３とも関連してくると思います。
いかがわしい人の話、私も楽しみにしています（って言い方、変だけど 笑）。
今日は北日本では天気が下り坂です。
家でゆっくりしていて正解でしたね。
るみ様
はじめまして。ときどき、添削のおり、るみさんの添削を拝見しております。多くの方がおっしゃっているように、るみさんの添削には、素晴らしいものがあります。良く考えて添削されていることが窺い知れます。
このサイトは本当に「有用な」サイトだと思います。言語学習者に限定されていることもあって、投稿者・添削者とも皆さんまじめで、それぞれ、お互い、助け合う気持ちを持っているように感じています。日本語、英語あるいは中国語等々、言語は異なっていても、「正しく適切な」言葉遣いは何か、それを探るという、共通の「言語感覚」を持っていることが、より一層、このサイトを良いものにしているのだろうと思います。
このサイトは、中国に生まれ、日本で育った中国系の方が、発案・経営しているそうですが、日本らしいサイトと言えるかもしれません。翻訳文化の日本です。さらに世界に広げようと計画しているそうですが、是非、発展させて行ってもらいたいものだと思います。
その時、るみさんの存在が次の「るみ様」を生むことだろうと思います。
テニヲハについて
http://lang-8.com/59895/journals/780969/%25E3%2581%25A6%25E3%2581%25AB%25E3%2582%2592%25E3%2581%25AF
はじめまして。コメントをいただき、ありがとうございます！
自分の添削が他の方たちからどう思われているのかいつも不安だったので、そういってくださると嬉しいです。
私もこのサイトの人たちは本当にまじめでいい人たちが多いと実感しています。そして単に言語学習に役立つだけではなく、世界中の人たちとコメントやメッセージを通じて交流できる点が素晴らしいですよね。
教える側と教えられる側が一方的な関係でないことが、よりフレンドリーな雰囲気を作り出しているんだと思います。
リンク先のエントリーもこれから読ませていただきますね☆
え？ルミちゃんの写真が変わっていますよね。
第一号になれなくて残念でしたね＾＾
前の写真はそろそろ飽きてきたので、変えました☆
米米さんのクマちゃんも可愛いよ☆
読ませていただきました。
書かれているようにできたらいいなー出来るかなーというのが正直な感想です。
私がまだ始めたばかりのためでもあるのですが、英語で書くときに、言いたい事を上手に表現できずに、易しい表現に流れて行ってしまい本当に言いたかった事とずれてしまった…と感じる事があります。
これからもっと勉強してROOMYさんのような書くことへの心構え、言葉を尊ぶ事を身につけたいと思います : )
ご感想をいただき、ありがとうございます。
私もここで始めたときは、英語も下手だし構成なんて全然ないような文章を書いていました。今もあまり上手ではありませんが（笑）
あらかじめ文章の組み立て方を考えてから書くようにして、書き終わった後も何を言いたいのか伝わっているかな～と読み直してみるのもいいみたいです。
と、偉そうに言っても私もまだまだ勉強が足りません。
一緒に頑張りましょう☆
なるほど、そうですよね。戴いたアドバイス、参考にさせていただきますっ!
自信が無い場合は、私がやっているように英語と一緒に日本語訳を付けてみるといいと思います。
I have no intention of imposing these ten principles onto other people on here; but some of these may help them to write their entries.
以前、文章の書き方に関するテキストから英語の文章は最初に主意を表現して、
後は詳しく説明してあげると言われたと知っていますが。
でも、読者側がご理解になれるかどうかは筆者の表現力次第です。
工夫を重ねると思います。(；・∀・)
そうですね。文章を上手く組み立てて表現するのは、母語の場合でも簡単ではないと思います。英語の場合は、英語の考え方で表現しなければならないので、なおさらですよね。
私も、読者が理解できるような文章を書けるように頑張ります！！！
哲学的ですよね。好きですそういうの。
今度、wakoさんのお考えも教えてくださいね☆
I'm back :D
It's easy to get burned out sometimes, especially someone so thorough, thoughtful, energetic, and determined to "write things right."
You put a ton of work into your amazing journal entries, and the results speak for themselves.
We understand why you can't be around ALL the time. But when you DO post, we are all the happier because your work is so wonderfully thoughtful and well said.
You're a rare gem, a needle in the haystack! Keep it up, but please continue to pace yourself.
["Bowing" emoticon goes here]
Thank you very much. I feel so honored to receive such a great compliment!
How flattering. I'm not as good as gold. But I'm pleased as punch to hear it.
I'm sorry I haven't written for so long. Not that I've been as busy as a bee, but I just haven't had the chance. I hope I haven't got your goat.
I feel as right as rain today.
Thank you again for your kindness! :D
A lot of water has flowed under the bridge, but it seems to me that everything has gone by so quickly. (This is an interesting idiom that you've used here. In fact, I don't hear any idioms regarding bridges except "it's all water under the bridge" which refers to something that doesn't matter anymore. Not to say that this is particularly wrong, I'm just curious. If you want an idiom for the latter part, you could say everything "passed with the blink of an eye" as well.)
For months, I've been struggling with myself who had difficulty when writing a new entry. (This is an interesting passage. In English, such formulations of relative clauses isn't a usual occurrence. This conception of a self who has difficulty writing and with "whom" you struggle with isn't a normal concept for people in the Western world. At least, to my knowledge.)
Whenever I tried to write something, I just started to dislike it and threw it away. (This is an odd sentence in that you make it sound as if "starting" to dislike something makes you stop it. I would render it as "I ended up disliking it and throwing it away." This seems to match up with your sentence: "すぐそれが嫌になってやめていたのです" which would probably be translated as "I would end up disliking it rather quickly and ended up stopping." if we were going to be literal. Of course, rendering it literally would seem to negate the emotion that you wish to convey there.)
Besides improving your language skills, there might be another objective in writing entries on here in a foreign language; for example, for some people, think it's writing as many entries as possible. (The construction "some people think it's writing as many entries as possible" makes it seem as if they aren't sure of their own objectives.)
That is an excellent idea, but I can could never do something like that. (As the other person corrected, it's "could" rather than "can". "Can", while not particularly wrong, it's not used in sentences talking about hypotheticals. At least, not in cases like these. Even when talking of the present, English uses things like "I couldn't eat another bite", "I couldn't go any further if I wanted to", and other such things. It's somewhat confusing since a person is discussing what could occur in the future by rendering it in the past but that's just how English is.)
If it's possible for me, I'd like to work on try writing interesting articles with a good construction composition, which could make many people want to read them even months, no, even years later. ("Work on" is rather odd and doesn't really seem to make much sense. Did you mean try to do it or actually do it? Also, it seemed like you wanted a more dramatic statement concerning having people reading them years later so I tried to do that as well.)
Staying on topic: mixing a lot of off-topic contents into the entry may confuse the readers.
Being neutral, against, or for the topic throughout the entry: it's important to maintain a careful distance from extreme views. (Your friend seemed to be pointing more towards the idea of having a clear position on the matter rather than maintaining a distance from extreme views. However, maintaining distance from extreme views is a good quality to have as well.)
Keeping the same tone throughout the entry: of course, it's unless your entry is a jumble of unrelated ideas. (You mean to say that an entry that has unrelated ideas doesn't have to have the same tone, right?)
Entry organizational Have good organization: an entry should have a good construction composition. ("Construction" is an odd word when dealing with writing. In the field of writing, it's usually called "composition" rather than "construction".)
I'm not sure if my interpretation is correct.) (It is if we are to believe your friend is talking about keeping things organized.)
Having a smooth transition from one topic to the next: it's just like a soothing melody... (That's a poetic way to put it. Having a smooth transition from one topic to the next, more literally, would be that your points seem to all be connected in an organized manner. That your topics don't seem to simply jump from one to the other without any connection between that. Of course, your poetic interpretation is just as nice and says it in fewer words.)
Since then, these have been the seven principles to when writing my journal entries, although I don't know if I've gone through with them so far. (How much do you want to emphasize that there have been seven principles? Do you want to make it seem exclusionary? Or do you want them to seem like they simply happened to be there?)
I've learned that, from my experience after that since then, three more qualities should be added to them:
Being interactive: communicating with readers through comments and replies are is sometimes more fruitful than keeping a journal itself. (As someone else stated, this statement deals with a singular subject.)
I have no intention of pushing these ten principles onto other people on here; but some of these may help them to write their entries. (Pushing them onto is fine. Imposing is also fine. It depends on how strongly you want to word it.)
I wasn't sure if the terms and phrases I used in this entry could sound natural to native speakers, so your suggestions helped me a lot.
Of course, these are my principles when writing my journal entries, and it's up to individuals to choose the way of writing. I just hope you'll find something of value in this entry.
So it's better to start with simple sentences and then progress to higher-level articles with good composition. In any case, the most important thing is to make readers understand what we want to convey. :)
My personal opinion is that what makes essays/articles interesting to readers, is that they are thought-provoking. Writing down your personal opinion/thoughts/feelings/analyses is more important. I don't know, perhaps non-Japanese (shrugs) value freedom of speech.
I've seen essays that are grammatically perfect, flow well but really boring. No punch lines, no jokes, nothing. Like a report. I've read articles that were perhaps not fantastic grammar-wise, structure-wise, or even the flow; but the idea conveyed was brilliant.
I guess I'm just not a grammar-nazi... ;p
I know, the most important thing is to write what you want--if the meanings of the sentences are properly reported.
I've always tried to write as interesting articles as possible because I'm very interested in thought-provoking essays. I don't know if I could really do so, though.
Do you think the entries I've written in the past are boring? I'm wondering...
Your entries are always interesting and very thought out! :)
I am sure you can write thought-provoking essays! I can't think in Japanese, so I would think in English, write it down, and then slowly translate it into Japanese. But since your English is so good, I think you should try to think in English..? :)
Thanks for your compliments! My entries are not always thought-provoking. Most are just rubbish, unless the inspiration comes... haha!
I guess to me, I like to read other people's opinions. Personal opinions and thoughts that are well thought-out, incisive, and presents a new viewpoint that I would have never thought of on my own. You know, something different. Maybe you can write something on Japanese culture, since that by itself is already something new (or relatively new) and different to the rest of us. :)
When I write my English entries, I always try to think in English. These are a little difficult but really challenging as well.
I know some other Japanese people here also give explanations of the Japanese grammar, but many if not most of them do so in Japanese; this could make it difficult for foreign people to understand their profound meanings.
I'm not flattering you when I say your entries are interesting. You are very intelligent and have the ability to write many thought-provoking essays. I wish I could be like you! :)
>this could make it difficult for foreign people to understand their profound meanings.
Concur. And this is why we appreciate your entries so much, because it makes it so easy for us to understand! (Although remembering grammar rules is another thing...) ;p
For months, I've been struggling with the difficulty of writing a new entry.
Since then, these have been seven principles I've considered when writing my journal entries, though I don't know if I've gone through with them so far.
Most of the time though, I write journals based on interesting things that I discover or things that I want to learn. Or maybe something that has happened in my day.
I think your understanding of English is already extremely good. So I think your entries are written differently. I think everyone has their own style of writing and their own feel to their entries. So, whatever the objective is when you start to write your journal may be different depending on the person, but whatever it is, I think can be done in a good way no matter what.
I really appreciate the compliment.
Your entries are well written, too! When I read and corrected your Japanese entries, I noticed that you wanted to write in a colloquial style. It's very good, but I think it's sometimes more difficult to express things in plain (informal) speech than in formal speech, without sounding odd or rude. The same could be said for us English-learners. I sometimes feel unsure if my statements are natural. So I hope we can help each other to improve our language skills. :)
Besides improving their language skills, some people might have other objectives when writing entries (here) in a foreign language, such as writing as many entries as possible.
To the extent of my abilities, I'd like to write well-constructed, interesting articles which may attract readers even months (or years) later. (Suggestion)
Having a smooth transition form one topic to the next: writing so it reads like a soothing melody...
I've since learned from my experience that three more qualities should be added (to this list):
Avoiding negative messages: instead, giving positive thoughts could attract a wider range of people.
Of course, I don't mean to stick to strict principles, but I really appreciate my friend's advice and I'd like to use it to improve my writing skill.
おはよう～
Roomyさんはいつも考えながら、日記を書きますよね。
日記の書き方についてのまとめを書いていただき、ありがとうございました。
本当に勉強になりました。
でも、私にとって「1」はちょっと難しいかもしれません。
常に言い表したかったことを中心に書こうと思っていたのに、知らず知らずのうちに、テーマと外れてしまうことは時々ありました。
でも、私はRoomyさんがおっしゃったように試してみようと思います。
まだ、より多くのご意見を参考にさせていただきます。
コメントありがとう♪
Skyさんの日本語は上達が早くてビックリしています。
日記も毎回、考えさせてくれるテーマを扱っていて、私もあんなふうに書けたらなあと、いつも思ってます☆
Skyさんの日記は内容もよくまとまっていて、すごくよく書けていますよ。
これからも興味深いテーマで私たちを楽しませてくださいね！
In my entries I don't think on that when I'm writting.
I just try to writte something that may be interesting,like a little history or something funny or different that happens to me.
My main objective is always try to catch other people attention,in exchange of make a real diary like:
14 February
today blablabla....
Obrigada! Estou muito feliz. ^^
Your entries are always funny and interesting.
So don't worry yourself over it.
As I wrote above, I have no intention of imposing my principles onto others.
By the way, I corrected your today's entry.
I hope that helps. :)
But isn't something easy make interesting entries.Because everyone have their own opinions,so what might be intresting might not be to you.
yeah,it helped. Well,any help is welcome to me.
At first, just try to write things that everyone can easily understand.
Your today's entry is very well written. Keep up the good work! ^^
今朝は、内地でも雪 で、お休み取りました:p
# 雪だるま作ってる大人は... 僕 σ(^^;; だけ?? ww
> ９．ネガティブなメッセージを発信しないこと
某所では愚痴ばっかりかいてます f(^^;; が、確かに 此処ではしませんね。
色んな視点での見方 を教えて貰うついでに、語学の勉強にもなる。Horasho :-D
# どっちかと言うと、添削を通じて国語の学習の助けになってます :p
おたがい、ゆるい関係で続けましょう
では、良い一日をお過ごし下さい (^^)/~~ Poka
お久しぶりです。
そちらは今、雪ですか？
北海道はすごく良いお天気です♪
ここは世界中のいろいろな国の人たちが書いたり読んだりしているサイトですから、日本人独特の感覚が通じない場合もあるし、それだけに気を使います。
常に励ましあったり、元気を見せたりすることが、いい方向に流れていくようです。
最近、Hotterさんの添削を見かけませんが、またどこかで添削をご一緒することがあるかもしれませんね。
どうぞお手柔らかにお願いします☆
私も相当lang-8からご無沙汰していました。というのも、ちょっと思うところがあありました。その中でこのentryを拝読いたしました。
ますます、Roomyさんは思慮深い方だわと尊敬します。Roomyさんのその想いが添削に現れていたんだと納得しかりです。
また、私にとっても考えが一段とまとまったように思います。lang-8は色々な方が、色々な想いで利用されていますが、皆さんが楽しく快適に利用できれば一番なのかしら、と。^^
ありがとうございました。
コメントありがとうございます！
そういえば最近、bossaさんの日記を拝見してないなあと思っていました。メッセージをいただけて、とっても嬉しいです。
私は普段あまり思慮深くないほうなので、せめて文章を書いたりするときはちゃんとしないと、と思って頑張っています＾＾；
自分の書いたものが、ほんの僅かでも他の方のお役に立てれば、この上ない幸せです。そう、皆さんが楽しく快適に利用できるのが一番ですね。そうした場をこのサイトは与えてくれたのですから。
bossaさんの次の日記、期待しています☆
It can't be! You've actually returned to us Rumi! ^_^
As usual, it seems I'm far to late to make corrections, but I will say I think those 10 points are solid ideas...I just wish I could stick to the point in my entries.
Nevertheless, it is good to have you back. Also, Happy Valentine's Day. 30 minutes from it being over here in America so i still have time to say it! xD
Long time no see! Thanks to someone, your picture looks much brighter than before, haha! ^_^
Yeah, I'm back! Please don't let me out of your sight again. You can correct my entries at any time.
Happy Valentine's Day, too! It's February 15th in Japan, but it's not too late. Oh, I wish I could give you chocolate!
もちろん、フォトありがとうございました。＾＿＾
おかえりなさい！君を絶対見守る。ふふふふ。（笑）
ありがとう、でもルミの英語は上手と思います。英語の神みたいな？まじで、ルミの英語はさすがかな。
えええ！ １５の２月ね？ははは、ありがとう、だって今年はチョコラテもらなかった。悲しかったね？ （笑）
あああそうか。今年は日本に行きます。＾＿＾にも、住むの出来ますも。そして、会いませんか、先生。
ここまで書ければ、あともう少しかな～
英語の神 or 女神？そんなにほめられると照れちゃうな！（*＾▽＾*）
って言うか、アメリカ人が怒るんじゃない？（笑）
チョコラテ = choco latte? それとも「チョコレート (chocolate )」のこと？チョコレート送ってあげられないのが残念。。。
「日本語の神」になれるように頑張って！
４．エントリーを通じて一定のトーンを保つこと：もちろん、そのエントリーが相互に無関係なことの寄せ集め出でなければ、ですが。
わぁ、日本語でミスしちゃった、恥ずかしい！＞＜
I gotta agree with you on all points. I have the same exact problem: I start writing something, dislike it, then throw it away. Unfortunately, my Japanese isn't nearly good enough to produce something I really like, which basically means that I don't really get to post anything at all...maybe I should just write and post without thinking too much about it until I've reached your level of proficiency. Then I can worry about quality and the criteria you posted. After all, if I don't write Japanese and make mistakes, I won't learn. And not posting anything just because it's not perfect won't get me far, especially not at my level...
I'm back! It makes me happy that you're back here, too! ^_^
Well, your Japanese is really good, all flattery aside. I swear it's true. You're good at various style of Japanese. I've been always impressed by your proficiency in the Japanese language.
So please be confident. I'm looking forward to your next journal entry.
I'm back! Thank you.^^
It's great to see another entry from you, I always enjoy reading them. :) Thanks for the tips, by the way! I often tend to go off on a tangent in my blog entries when I don't decide on a certain topic. ^^; I'll keep these in mind for the future. :)
It's nice to see you again! I'm so happy to hear from you. ^^
Sorry for not being able to correct your entries so often, but I know you've written very good entries. I'm one of your fans. Your Japanese is really excellent!!!
Wooow, I'm so pleased to receive your comment!
No worries, there's no need to care so much about these at first :)
สบายดีไหมครับ
Hi, Rumi! Long time no see, how have you been?
Thank you for your useful information...
Anyway, I'm so busy right now, so I couldn't write any entries!
とっても疲れているよ！ ><
สบายดี หรือคะ
Hi Juk-san, long time no see!
It's nice of you to come see me.
Oh, are you that busy right now?
Please take good care of yourself.
ขอบคุณ สำหรับ วันนี้ค่ะ
This is not an advice but maybe a personal 'request': Apart from this style of entries personally, at least in your case, I would like to hear much more about your personal life, too :) I'm hoping that between these classic entries you may consider sprinkling some of that :)
Ah, yes. I know I haven't written a lot about my personal life. I'd like to think it over and try to meet your request. But If I wrote something about my personal life, it would be filled with a lot of whining, LOL
Thank you, Lara! :D
It's so good to see you again :D
LOL I sometimes feel like I'm a writer who is meant to write good works for her readers (oh, am I megalomaniac?)
Well, the friend who suggested these principles said it was good that I did add my personality to some of my articles because most of my articles were drawn from my own experiences. I don't intend to write boring textbooks; I'd love to have discussions with many people about what I'm usually thinking. Hopefully you know what I mean. Anyway, it isn't bad to make reference to my personal life at times. Thanks for your friendly advice. It really is appreciated. ^_^
お久しぶりです
前回のエントリーでは、大変失礼しました
まさか君からNative nodを頂けるとは思っていませんでした :)
御礼がてら君のエントリーを読ませて頂いて、２つほど疑問点があり教えて頂きたいのですが伺っても宜しいですか？
（"ダメ"と言わてしまう前に書いてしまいますがｗ）
まず、１つめに、
> ５．エントリーに自分の個性を加えること：これが「あなたの」エントリーであることを、よく人に分かってもらいましょう。
というくだりがありますが、この"自分の個性を加える"とは、具体的にどういう事を指すのですか？（例えば、君のこのエントリーのどの辺に君の個性が出ているのかな？）
そして、２つめに、
> ８．対話的であること：コメントやお返事を通じて交流することは、エントリーを書くこと自体よりも実り多いことがあります。
この８つ目の"対話的であること"というのは、エントリーの内容そのものが"対話的"であるべきだ、ということですか？
それとも、エントリーをポストした後の（エントリーの本文そのものではなくて）
コメントとお返事のやり取りを指して言っているのですか？
もし、また僕のこのコメントが、君にとって不快だったら消してしまって下さい
システムが新しくなって、Native nodを誰がくれたか分かるようになっていいですよね。添削する人同士でも親近感が沸くようになってよかったと思います☆
ご質問の点ですが、
この日記は特に自分の個性が出ているとは思っていません。まあ日本語訳で個性と書いてしまったけれど、元の Adding personality という言葉を通じて友達が言いたかったのは article のような文章にも、その人ならではのことを加えるべきという意味らしいのです。
私のこれまでのエントリーでも、漠然と一般論を書くのではなく、自分自身の経験を通じて感じたこと、考えたことを起点として書いてきたつもりです。
単に個人の日記を書いたほうがその人の個性が出やすいかもしれないけれど、エッセイのような文章にも著者の人となりをちりばめるべきと言うことなんでしょう。
もう一つの対話的の意味は、エントリーの本文を通じてでもいいんですが、コメントとお返事のやり取りの方が、読む人の意見も伝わりやすいと思います。
ここはプロの先生が生徒を添削するという一方的な関係を前提としているわけではなく、エントリーを書く側も、それを添削する側も対等の一般人の立場です。だからこそ、コメント欄を通じて意見や感想を述べたり、ディスカッションしたりして「対話」を深めることが必要ではないでしょうか。
なるほど、ありがとうございます
先に英文を読むべきでしたね、
ご説明にお時間取らせてしまい申し訳ありません
もう一点宜しいですか？
>ここはプロの先生が生徒を添削するという一方的な関係を前提としているわけではなく、エントリーを書く側も、それを添削する側も対等の一般人の立場です。だからこそ、コメント欄を通じて意見や感想を述べたり、ディスカッションしたりして「対話」を深めることが必要ではないでしょうか。
ここで"「対話」を深めることが必要"とありますが、この目的は何ですか？
人間関係の構築のため？ あるいは、
言語そのもの、言葉の使い方等を明確にしてゆくため？
逆に"プロの先生が生徒を添削する"場合であれば、対話は不要ということですか？
> 言語そのもの、言葉の使い方等を明確にしてゆくため？
両方あり得ると思います。使う人次第でしょう。
私は他の人の日記へのコメントも含めて、その両方を経験しました。
> 逆に"プロの先生が生徒を添削する"場合であれば、対話は不要ということですか？
そうは申しておりません。ただ、お互いアマチュア同士の関係だからこそ、親密な交流もしやすいし、言葉についての説明の必要もより多くなると思います。
この"言葉についての説明の必要もより多くなる"というのは、
"親密になればなるほど、言葉の説明が必要になる"
ということですか？
プロではないからこそ、説明によって信頼性を深める必要が出てくることはあると思いませんか？
ということですねｗ
>親密な交流もしやすいし
は"挿入句"だったのですね、わかりました :)
このように僕ら日本語母国語同士でも、字面だけの交流ですと、
お互いの言わんとすることを理解するのも大変ですよね :)
あなたの意見に賛成です :)
僕みたいな書き込み、つまり
母国語同士のこういった対話についてはどのように思われますか？
ここは言語学習サイトですが、こういった書き込みは迷惑ではありませんか？
真面目なディスカッション、大歓迎です☆
もちろん、相手に不快感を与えない範囲内で親しく会話することも大切ですよね。このサイトは母国語の人同士の対話のきっかけが少ないですから。
僕はてっきりあなたに嫌われていると思っていました
また、日記を読ませて頂いたり、コメントさせて頂いても宜しいですか？
ちなみに、"真面目なディスカッション"以外はアウトですか？
Crazy4U!のお相手にもよろしくね☆
Roomyさん、いつからあいつとフレンド？
I wrote it on April 1st, "April Fool's Day" XD
So, I believe you misunderstand something. XD
Thanks for coming today :)
Thank you very much, Ms. Roomy :D
You are so popular!
So many comments!
I think I should maybe try to apply those rules to my posts.
Because my writing is sometimes not well constructed.
How kind of you to come.
Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
It will give me a great pleasure if these could be helpful to you. :)
A lot of water has flowed under the bridge, but it seems to me that everything has gone by so quickly. (I'm also not familiar with the idiom used in the first part of the sentence, but I do understand what you're trying to say in this sentence by what's written in the second part. Perhaps something more literal might work better here... "Much time has passed and a lot has happened, but...")
Whenever I tried to write something, I would just end up started to disliking it and throwing it away.
Out in the blogosphere, there are blogs that deal with a particular subject matter and are always well-constructed and have interesting content, and thus, grow to have a following. Other blogs are a bit more writer-centric, sometimes still aiming to develop a following. And then there are those that are just a mish-mash of whatever the writer would like to write about. Since lang-8 is a language-learning site where most users are not at the level of proficiency of Roomyさん, the first type is tough to ever find on here. The second type is still uncommon (maybe also because of language proficiency?), and there are lots of the third type ^^;
I don't know where I fit in the above three categories, but I know I started out by trying to write about semi-interesting things, hoping that maybe the content would make correcting my entries slightly less of a burden (even though I didn't have enough language exposure to write those entries well enough). There's a lot of different types of writing aside from essay-like composition, such as letter writing and simple day-to-day exchanges, that I've wanted to improve on more, so my recent journal entries have unfortunately been more "dry" ^^; So, maybe now my journal's in the 3rd category ^^;
Your English is at such a high level that writing in your journal is almost like keeping a blog with readership at this point ^^ I guess the only advice I would add is to sometimes let your personality shine through, and don't get too stressed by writing! We'd rather read something not quite perfect than never have anything to read ^o^
I'm a little surprised to know that the idiom "a lot of water (has flowed) under the bridge" is not as popular among English speaking people as I've expected. I thought it's a cliche phrase that means "much time has passed and many different things have happened."
Well, I don't think my English is at a high level. It makes me kind of embarrassed to receive praise from you who is more proficient in Japanese than I am in English. To be honest, I've always had hard time using English to write what I want. So I have a long way to go to catch up with those excellent bloggers.
There are people at various language levels on Lang-8; it's impossible to ask all of them to follow those kinds of strict principle. If they write what they want, that's fine. However, you have an ability to write high-level journal, melitu. I look forward to reading your coming entries. ^.^
You are correct that the phrase "(a lot of) water under the bridge" does refer to "much time has passed and many different things have happened", but it's usually used as is, without a verb, and the context in which it's usually used is a bit different from how you've used it.
The phrase is commonly seen as "it's water under the bridge, "it's all water under the bridge", "that's water under the bridge", etc., and often preceded by "... but".
I think the context is what threw me off here though. "Water under the bridge" usually refers to something that you shouldn't worry or concern yourself over anymore because "it's all in the past". The "water" is usually (though not always) something negative. "For better or worse" what happened has already happened and we should just forget it and move on.
In your sentence, what I might have expected to follow the idiom: "A lot of water has flowed under the bridge, but I'm back now and ready to write!"
Hope that somewhat makes sense ^^;
Yesterday, I looked up this idiom on the internet and found that it has been used in several movies:
http://www.subzin.com/s/Lot+of+water+under+the+bridge
Apparently, "a lot of water under the bridge" is an idiom that people use when they meet someone for the first time in a long time.
It's always a pleasure to read your entries, especially the ones about language! But I don't think I've ever commented before?! Ah, shame on me :)
I agree with points you wrote down in this entry and makes me think about it too - to put so much thought in your writing, wow.... since I'm mostly selfishly posting my homeworks that need to be polished a bit before I hand them to teacher ;)
Also, looking back and seeing how much you've improved your english, it's really inspiring. Keep up the good work, Roomy! :D
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my journal. How kind of you to remember me. :)
As there are many people from all over the world on Lang-8, there must be many kinds of incentives to write journal entries. So you need not be ashamed of the way you write.
I've been impressed to know that there are a lot of people who can use good Japanese on this site, and you are one of them. I hope you keep up the good work too. :D
Snowdropと申します。どうぞよろしくお願いします～！！(o^^o)
コメントありがとうございます。とっても嬉しいです☆
（前にSnowdropさんからコメントがあったというお知らせが来たのに見つからなかったので、どうしたんだろうと思っていました）
お気軽に書き込んでください☆
こちらの方にもお気軽にお立ち寄りくださいませませ。(｡･ω･｡)ｨｪｨ♪
I'm no writer, but I think these are great principles by which to abide!
In my honest opinion, I don't believe writing as many entries as possible is such a great idea. Of course, if you want to improve, then you have to do things daily, but if one just writes about a small thing with disinterest, then the reader will read with disinterest. If it's a chore for the writer to write it, then it'll be a chore for the reader to read it.
I think it's better to achieve enrichment than improvement. Be interested about what you're typing. Don't have thoughts like "I HAVE to improve so I HAVE to do this!" It doesn't become fun anymore, it becomes a chore. The best way to attain knowledge is when you're genuinely interested in it. If you're trying to force yourself, then improvement will be stagnant.
Like what you've said in this entry, it's best to put some thought and effort into what you type. Now, I know everyone can't write a masterful entry such as this, nor does one have the time, but I know that I would prefer to read an entry that had some personal meaning in it, something that the writer himself is rather proud to share. Reading something where the writer is disconnected with his topic is not a very fun read. If he's writing simply for improvement but not for enrichment, then I just don't feel attracted at all. For example, an entry that is just "Which sentence is better: A or B?" I want to read something with emotions in it because it's more fun to read something written with passion.
And I absolutely LOVE when the writer replies to comments. That's one of the best ways to connect to the readers as well as gain ideas. Plus, the writer becomes more personable and someone to whom the reader can relate so they'll definitely be coming back for more. ;)
Keep up the great work, Roomy! Don't mind the long intervals between your entries. Remember, quality over quantity.
Haha, sorry for testing your English ability every time. :D
I hope my English isn't too awkward for you to understand with your ability.
About journal entries, I don't think that more is better. Of course, some people have written a lot of interesting entries and thus show great improvement in their language skills. It would be great if I could become like them, but it's practically too difficult for me to do the same as they have done. I don't have the time nor aptitude for it.
I agree with you that it's better to achieve enrichment than improvement. I have written what I want to write about in my journal and they have been appreciated by most, if not all, readers until now. The Japanese language and culture have been my most intriguing subjects. I don't think I have to write about them, but I really want to write about them.
Although I haven't written a lot about my private affairs, most of my articles are the result of what I have thought through the experiences in my every day life. Hopefully, my friends on Lang-8 will understand this and treat me with gentle patience.
I want to thank you, Kathryn, for the encouragement and understanding . I will remember your kindness for a long time. :)
私は日記を書いたら、短く書きたいと思います。簡単に読んで、コメントしてなどになります。ちょっと忙しい人たちが私の読めるようになります。
プロフィール写真がハンサムなお顔に戻りましたね。良かった（笑）
それに日本語のコメントが上手になって、ビックリしてます。
きっと、今までずっと日記とコメントで練習してきた成果でしょうね。＾＾
恒彦さんは自分の書きたいスタイルで書いてください。
多くのファンが恒彦さんの日記に期待していますよ。頑張って。
私もファンの一人です☆
ありがとう！自分の書きたいスタイルで書き続けますよ。＾＾
あなたの日記の日本語が難しいですね。日記の中で、日本語でも書いてくれてありがとう！読むのはいい練習ですね。
本当に新しい日記を探すにとって、毎日ルミちゃんのプロフィールを見ています。時々、新しい日記を見ます。ルミちゃんは日記を書くのが長い時間ので、ルミちゃんの日記はすごいです。
難しいですか？なるべく易しい文章で書いたつもりなんだけど。。。
日本語の文章で分からないところがあれば、質問してね。
もう恒彦さんは着てくれないかと思ったので、嬉しかったです♪
「着」漢字の動詞も分からない、「着る」や「着く」が分かりません。「wear」と「arrive」が分かるようですかね。だから、着てが「wearing」ですか？私は何を着ていますか？
もう恒彦さんは着てくれないかと思ったので、嬉しかったです♪・・・×
もう恒彦さんは来てくれないかと思ったので、嬉しかったです♪・・・○
私の入力変換ミスです！！！
ごめんなさい！ ＞＜
ある人の英語の質問を答えみたいの日記です。・・・×
ある人が英語について質問したことに答えてみた日記です。・・・○
添削ありがとう！あなたの日記を日本語でコメントして時、たぶんたくさんの間違い文を書いていましたかね？
So I tried to say that I understood exactly what you meant.
やっぱり，びっくり，ニコニコ
I REALLY understand how you feel when you write journals.
There is a world of difference between my jounals and yours,though.
You think you will add three more principles but I am sure you have already had a wonderful influence on many people.
I am one of them.
So I will make a copy of this page and keep it to warn me not to be lazy.
Long time no see! Nice to meet you again. :)
How kind of you to remember me.
I haven't seen your entry for a long time. It's been on my mind.
Oh, I don't think I have had such an influence on other people, but I only hope that my entries won't disappoint them.
I'm looking forward to reading your next entry. Take care, I'll see you real soon! :D
I've been curious since last year if you were studying for or involved in journalism or literature? Your writing and corrections are very formal and your English writing follows much of the AP style.
If you've already written about your background in a previous journal, I can look it up. :)
Keep up the good writing.
Welcome to my journal! How nice to meet you.
Oh, have you known my journal since last year? I'm sorry I haven't noticed it before.
I'm not studying for nor involved in journalism/literature, although I have a little interest in those areas. My current goal is to improve my writing skills in English. Also, I'm intensely curious about languages including my mother tongue.
I haven't written about my background in my journal here. Perhaps, I'll talk about it another time.
Thank you very much!
コメントありがとうございます。
日本語でも文章って書くの難しい＞＜
私は英単語が覚えられないよ～！！
私の場合、短い文章しか書かないけど、それでも知らない単語がよく出てくる。。。
調べたりするんだけど、一瞬で忘れちゃうんだよね。
脳が衰えてる～～＞＜
るみちゃんは、1つの単語、何回ぐらいで覚えられる？？
・・・なんか日本語変？！
私、新しい単語がまったく覚えられない＞＜
そういえば、写真、ちょっとの間、違うのになってて、また戻ったね☆
私、今の写真飽きた～。。。とりあえずで使っててずっとそのまんま☆
コメントありがとう☆
私も日本語で書くとき、ときどき悩んじゃうことありますよ。書きたいことをただ書くときはいいんだけど、英語からの翻訳だと難しくなるみたい ＞。＜
ゆうこりんさんの日本語、ぜんぜん変じゃないし～
私の方が変な日本語使ってること多いかも。。。（＝＝）
わぁ～単語の丸暗記は私も大の苦手なの！
単語じゃなくて、使いたい表現をフレーズで覚えるほうが多いかな。
でも難しい言葉とかは、なかなか覚えられないから私も辞書で調べちゃう！
写真は同じの長く使ってると飽きるよね☆、
へぇ！写真がまた変えて戻りますよね＾＾
はい、そうで～す！
気分転換したくなったので変えたの＾＾
心配してくれて、ありがとう☆
でも、被災地の人は大変だと思います。早く暖かくなるといいのに。
私も気をつけます。ありがとう～＾＾
it's nice to meet you. Welcome to my journal! Yes, Yossy-san and I have made friends lately. I'm sorry for not introducing myself earlier. I always think that I should write my comments on my friends' entries in English as well so that native speakers understand them. It's just because I've been lazy.
It makes me very glad to know that you are interested in my journal. Please feel free to correct or comment on my entries.
Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.
Thank you very much! :D
そして私も、どうぞよろしくRoomyさん。
こちらこそ、よろしくお願いします。＾＾
るみちゃんが普段している考えでもいいから＾＾書いてみてね～＾＾
私はルミちゃんの考えがすごく聞きたいよ～！＾＾
最近書かなくなったのは怠け癖なのかな＾＾；
私は思いついたことを気軽に書くっていうスタンスじゃないので、難しく考えすぎるのかも知れないね。
Besides improving your language skills, there might be another objective (other objectives) in (for) writing entries on here in a foreign language; for example, some people think it's writing (write) as many entries as possible. [note: Avoid second person pronouns unless engaged in an actual conversation. Writing "for example" indicates there must be more than one "another objective". So, make "another objective" plural.]
If it's possible for me, I'd like to work on interesting articles with a good construction which could make many people want to read them even months (or years) later. [note: You need to delete the comma after "construction" because "which could make...." is a dependent clause that modifies "construction" and critical to the meaning of the sentence.]
Entry organizational (organization): an entry should have a good construction [note: "Organizational" is an adjective. "Entry" is an attributive noun, so "entry" cannot modify "organizational".]
Having a smooth transition form one topic to the next (another): it's just like a soothing melody... [note: "Next" cannot be a noun. Therefore, "next" cannot be the object of the preposition. A definite article is incorrect because "other" can be any "other", not a specific "other". "Another" is the correct pronoun.]
Since then, these have been the seven principles that I have used to write my journal entries, though I don't know if I've gone through with (been following) them so far. [note: (1) You need the definite article because you are talking about seven specific principles. And, these are relative to you, so you need to have the clause that modifies "principles" written in first person. (2) You should use "present perfect continuous" because you are referencing three time periods. First, you started in the past. Next, you have continued to the present. Then, you are continuing into the future.]
I'm very glad you could stop by~ ^^
僕の日記の添削をしてくれて、ありがとう。
Ｒｏｍｍｙさんの日記はとても素晴らしいです。Ｒｏｏｍｙさんはライターに目指していますか？
僕の場合は、日本語で上手になるために、毎日日記を書きたいです。できれば面白い日記を書きたいです。
特にライターを目指しているというわけじゃないけど、英語の文章力を伸ばすことが私の今の目標です。
ハビエルさんはすごく昔からこのサイトで日記を書いていて、今も毎日パワフルに書いていますね。すごいです！＾＾
私が一番印象に残っているのは「日本人の女性に恋の質問をしたいです」とうタイトルの日記です。
例えば、Ｒｏｏｍｙさんが、詩を読みますか？
The people who write novels can make a large and nice text for small things.
例えば、鳥の声の話とか、空の話とか、子供の時の好きなデザートとか、コーヒーの特徴なにおいとか、カリブ海パイラットとか、宇宙の星とか、海の外の世界とか、
If you want to write more stories and you need a subject to write about you can try to read novels like Isaac Asimov if you like science fiction.
世界はとても広くて、世界で話したいテーマが見つけられないとしても、宇宙にも結構面白い話があるかもしれません。
昔僕はもっと長い日記を書いていましたが、長い日記を添削したい人はあまりいないかもしれません。今日僕はもう一回もっと面白い日記を書きます。時間があれば、読んでみてくださいね。
Yes, I like poems. When I was a high school student, I used to write a lot of poems, but I haven't written lately.
I think I have to read more poems and novels so as to improve my writing skills.
世界にも、宇宙にも、面白いこと、不思議なことがいっぱいありますね。
だから、もっと色々なことに興味を持って、自分の視野を広げたいな、って思います。
私の日記も長いですが、がんばって添削してくれた人たちに心から感謝のキスを贈ります！チュッ！<3 <3 <3
Welcome you to join us! Let us explore the Chinese!
Welcome you to join us! Let us explore the Chinese!
Welcome you to join us! Let us explore the Chinese!
"Water under the bridge" usually refers to discarded worries, i.e. they are now beneath you and flowing away. I believe you have just attributed new meaning to this yourself ;) More natural might be, "A lot of sand has since fallen, but it seems to me that everything has gone by so quickly." (As in sand from the hourglass.)
Long time no see, how have you been?
Actually, I've never write any entries for a long time also!!
(Now, I'm a lazy guy.... ><)
P.S. I'll visit Japan again by the end of next month. My plan is travelling from Kyushu to Hakodate within 14 days...
楽しみにしてる！＾＾